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My Label/ Hi, My Name Is...Sometimes I think I need to wear a label,
A sticker,
A collar,
A tag…

That will tell you what is wrong with me…

"Hi, My Name Is:
Easily loving, falls to quickly, doesn't know when to stop, tries her best but can't succeed, and only wants to hold someone's hand… to feel that hand on her shoulder when she cries…"

The ink would be smudged across as if written in haste, a couple letters bolded in spots as if trying to fix a mistake…So many mistakes…

The edges would be peeling as if to forget I ever existed all together…
Sometimes, I think I need to wear a warning…

So you will know ahead of time th
To Kiss A GhostSlowly the drug pulls down my veins,
Pulling my hand in purpled waters,
Dragging me down into a misty realm,
Of lavender smoke…

Landing in a chilled crystal lake,
The ripples lapping against my legs,
I lift my eyes and see someone…
A shadow of...     someone…

He reaches out a hand to me and touches my neck,
With the other, pulls me closer…
It was like kissing a ghost,
He was there, and then...    he wasn't…

I never met his true self,
But I knew him then, and only then…

My hair ruffled through his fingers,
Rough and red,
His skin was cool and fading,
Blissful blue…

I never knew what it was&#
Haunted Fields of IndigoWhy do I find myself wandering these haunted fields,
Following a shadow of a spirit...

Pulled by the barbed wire wrapped around my throat,
and the poison threatening my blood....

Desperate glances behind, remind me,
that I can't help the way I feel...

But why do I find my self confessing my heart's true song,
To a moon that will never hear...

Here I am, my knees bloodied and torn in the dried, tarnished straw,
I can only imagine the luscious taste of sweet moon's light...

But here I am, bound by my love, bound for all eternity,
my love for those who cannot return it to me...

I will never find my way,
out of these haunted fields
You, Just YouYou…..you make me think of,
Soothing lavender-colored cloth,
Twinkling indigo, midnight skies,
The first taste of autumn in a warmed coffee cup,
Hazel scented steam twisting everywhere…
Fiery eyes of gold and dreams of silver hair,
A glinting smile, a smirk….

The softest touch,
And inked vines coiled across softer skin,
Sleeping lilies and koi fish across bronze tinted plates,
And the comforting hand, the reassuring gesture,
For fear of metallic insanity….

Peeking from behind silver scales,
Towering above like sharpened swords,
Smiling to myself,
I watch your careful eye,
The weight of your shoulder against
What I FeelHave you ever burned an incense cone or wand,
And afterwords,
It's so light and only a fragile form of ash?
The slightest touch disintegrates it,
Sending it to fall down,
And becoming too much to clean…

I feel like that.

Have you ever broken a glass jar,
Just enough to see the shatter-lines,
But it still retains its shape?
The slightest touch will destroy it,
Causing it to release glimmering daggers,
Waiting to be stepped on for their revenge…

I feel like that.

Have you ever touched a frozen layer of water,
Tried to lift it from the bowl,
Tried to keep it from breaking it's original crystal form?
The slightest touc
Is It Really Worth It?Is it really worth it to bully some one?
To put someone down just so you can feel satisfaction,
To make someone feel so little of themselves.

Come on people,
You don't have to do that,
You don't have to beat someone up so you feel better.

Do you know that the words you say hurt?
Do you know that some people can't handle it?

You don't know that person,
You don't know what they are like.
It shouldn't matter what someone looks like on the outside,
Their personality is what matters the most
Because that shows who they are.

It is not worth it to bully.
It's not worth it at all.

If you don't like someone then that is your business,
Empty SpaceI pass by the gaping hole
Where many years ago,
Stood two proud giants
The screaming birds came unsuspecting,
and pushed the giants to the floor.
Now only remains an empty space.  

I ask the giant hole,
"Where were the giants that once stood proudly?"

.. And the hole replies,

"It's a part of us, now"
A Therian Curse or BlessingWhen I'm near you,
And close my eyes,
I can feel my claws,
My phantom tail weighing on my spine,
The twitching ears perked,
The flattened ridge above a small nose,
Whiskers tingling.

I can imagine everything,
And it feels so weird and amazing and startling and perfect in the same second.
She may have called me a freak, but what I am is more than that.
I am not human, she cannot call me that much for my spirit.

I am feline trapped in a human masquerade,
My slitted irises burning under frosted glass,
And as I close my eyes,
And let you trace my jaw line,
Let you pull back my hair and chuckle,
I'm stuck between two worlds…

One i
I, I am ForbiddenOh Lord , how I'm afraid.
I'm afraid that my secret will become known.
Those of my own blood chain me down and say I'm free,
They mock me before kissing me goodnight.
And for this reason, I have hidden how I think,
How I am,
From them all.
These words are typed in secrecy,
These thoughts forbidden to exist,
This heart forbidden to thrum with the blood of an open mind.
I am forbidden.

Oh Lord, how I'm afraid.
I'm afraid that I will never be free.
Because the only way I can truly be free is to break secrecy,
And that is too dangerous a border to cross...
And much too painful…
No daughter should hide her heart because of her
Here, In My HandsH e r e
In my hands…
Barely holding on to my flushed fingertips,
Is a dream.

Just an ordinary day dream,
One held precious and known only to me…
But within this fantasy, is a hidden promise…
A promise and a question,

        H e r e
I cup my hands and let the starlight ruffle it's feathers,
Like a bird of thread, with eyes of gold…
Do you understand how fragile it is?
If you unravel it enough, you will find what's left of my heart,
Since I broke it in two for you.

                  H e r e
Underneath this twilight canvas,
I hold my hands up to you and watch your eyes change,
Don't you understand…
The Sun's Lover/ I Kissed The SkyI kissed the sky today,
And whispered my soft plea,
The Sun reached down and tucked a stray curl behind my ear,
And winked at me as it rose between the leaves.

I kissed the dawn today,
And begged an answer,
But the Sun was too tired and only yawned the sunrise,
Leaving me clouds dusted with warm hues and laughter.

I kissed the dusk today,
And questioned my true desire,
But the Sun was too busy and advised the sunset-wind as a suitor,
But it left a smokey taste on my lips, and no warmth in my heart.

I kissed the sky today,
And sighed as I'm left alone,
Sitting here under his shining smile, his wondrous care,
I wonder if the Sun
My Morning BattleI look in the mirror,
Apply that last bit of eye make-up…
Twist the brush,
Swoop the glittery powder…
Standing back and smiling,
My reflection retorts….distorts…

I hear a hiss in my ear,
       "Look at you, you love every person who talks to you... so pathetic…so naiive…so trusting…..such a fool."

I close my eyes tightly, I grip the edge of the counter, my knuckles white.
       "Look at you, you don't know when to stop do you?.....so eager…so loving…so innocent…such a fool."

I bite my lip and refuse to look at h
Bittersweet BloodHer twisted smile,
That glaring eye…
How astounded I am of the control I have over my expression…
Because she is standing there and making up excuses…

Too scared to let me go…

I know she's trying to be careful and loving and protecting me from harm,
But I need to do something!
She has to let me do something, or I'll never do anything!

And she tries to stand there and catch me in the lie I've twisted so carefully…no flaws…
I have her cleverness, her intellect, I can match it mostly.
I know how to hide my true nature from her accusing eye.

You wicked woman that I love with all my heart,
Why do you dance
Please....Remind Me...Falling through their split-laced curtain,
Their venom-gilded web,
I extend my hand towards their bitter cackling,
Trying to hold on to my existence….
My mentality…

They are my blood,
They are my family,
But every glance is two-faceted,
And every  remark is double its original worth.

They will never accept me,
They will never understand,
And the metallic sharpness,
Creates acid from their lips,
And the stinging denial,
Gives birth to underlying hatred.

I dance between both worlds known to me,
But I'd prefer to be in only one.
I lie through my teeth daily,
I put on a show and pretend,
And I constantly rem
Drifting MemoriesPulling covers over chilled shoulders,
Closing my eyes to the setting sun,
I feel my lips pinch in a small smile,
As I remember everything about you that makes my days special.
Every moment spent, every text sent,
I smile, knowing that you are mine,
And I sleep into dreams of holding your hand,
And kisses in courtyards,
Darkened rooms and bleachers,
Special memories take my hand,
And guide my heart to the reasons why I need you.
As long as I can dance the dance of both worlds,
Tread that fine line and remember my lies,
You'll be mine, and I'll be yours.
Browse More Like This

More from ~topazcat511

All I Try To Do Is Try....All I try to do is heal,
I meditate,
I concentrate,
I can't escape what's real.

All I try to do is be,
To exist,
To resist,
Giving in to unity.

All I try to do is crawl,
To get away,
To set a day,
To escape it all.

All I try to do is flee,
To pretend,
To recommend,
A new reality.

All I try to do is wake,
To realize,
To be wise,
Before my soul, they take.

All I try to do is try,
To survive,
To connive,
Until I can truly fly.
HypocritesHypocrites
A family of hypocrites,
All of them.
Be who you are,
Says a mother who forced me to forget my love and true feelings,
Find a career you honestly want,
Says a father who works himself to death and unconsciousness,
Follow your heart, if it's true,
Says a sister who agrees with anyone in charge at points in time,
I'm so proud of all you've accomplished,
Says a grandmother who only arrives for attention for herself,
For the "glory" of being my grandparent,
As if she gave me my talents.

Hypocrites,
A family of hypocrites,
All of them.
I will not be a hypocrite…And yet I am…
I give advice of following your hear
Ambrosia's Journal: A Bitter Tonic IndeedAmbrosia's Journal

Dear Journal, today was quite tiring…the servants were bumbling about early this morning, I could hardly get any rest. And it certainly didn't help that I anxiously awaited the arrival of another of Luz's messages.  This is unhealthy for my soul, but I cannot bear the thought of losing him again. It turns out that it is very difficult to focus on royal operations while fantasizing about a secret love.  Several times, I made excuses to retire to my room for an hour or more, just for the hopes of catching another precious note. I did receive just one, and one wasn't near enough.  These pes

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×

I Am Your Clockwork Doll

:icontopazcat511:

Lay me out on the table and open my eyes,
Peel back the skin and reveal my porcelain heart,

Like a clockwork doll, made in secret from the mountains,

A lock is encased in its center,
And the key was lost long ago…
Given to a man of a name I've never known…

You play music of the sweetest notes,
Stories of love and devoted trust…
Love I don't deserve…
Love I can only give away…

What a truthful night it has been for this doll,
Every heart spoke its truth,
And she nearly cried from her shock…
So much love and care,
From those she's never met…never known…

Her crystal blood flows freely now,
Warming up her ceramic skin,
Her glass lips shining,
Her bright eyes sparking,

You all have awoken me, once more.

I'm just the clockwork doll brought down from the mountains….
Basking in the unimaginable, unexpected love of your words.

107

13 9 5
:icontopazcat511:

I Am Your Clockwork Dollby ~topazcat511

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Okay, so before everyone gets confused, tonights been interesting for me...ALOT of people tonight have told me the truth of how the feel about me...some alot stronger than others, but all very sweet. I can't express how much I'm stunned by this love, guys. You're all awesome <3
©2012-2013 ~topazcat511
Category: Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

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Submitted on
September 17, 2012
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:iconwinterkate:
~winterkate Sep 24, 2012  Student Writer
Hmm... you've got an interesting and creative writing style, which I like, but I feel like as a subject/metaphor, dolls are very overused, and that's bleaching out your work.
Reply
:icontopazcat511:
~topazcat511 Sep 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I've only written two works involving dolls and one involving a puppet...I'll keep that in mind, thanks ^_^
Reply
:icondevlintheblack:
~DevlinTheBlack Sep 17, 2012
Sounds like an interesting night XD
Reply
:icontopazcat511:
~topazcat511 Sep 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:nod: yep
Reply
:icondevlintheblack:
~DevlinTheBlack Sep 18, 2012
lol
Reply
:iconwinterwolf10:
*WinterWolf10 Sep 17, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Love the imagery. :) Its a very beautiful piece.
Reply
:icontopazcat511:
~topazcat511 Sep 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you, to be honest, it's not me best and it kind of reminds me of an old piece I've down in the past...but I had to write something to express my thanks :shrug:
Reply
:iconwinterwolf10:
*WinterWolf10 Sep 18, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Even if its not your best, its still very good. :)
Reply
:icontopazcat511:
~topazcat511 Sep 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :)
Reply
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