[x]

Graduation DayGraduation Day:

They told us we would be alright...

We had fought with honour and won our titles.

We had overcome trials together -

Watching dozens of our siblings fall in the line of duty.

For this they had promised us, a wondrous welcome;

A bountiful world of adventure, with a myriad of paths.

All this, they said, awaited us in the stone cities.

Large metropolises, where the working folk resided...

There were hundreds of us, who made that journey.

Walking miles across the scorching desert,

Clinging to a hope of the fortunes beyond.

Yet what awaited us was not a promised land -

Nor was it a life based on the merit we had earned.

You don't just die.Do you understand?
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Hearts
Souls
And sanity.

Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
Everyone dies
Everyone cries
Everyone suffers
From YOUR goodbyes.

Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
With you.

I wish...I wish I was a monster
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
Just friends
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.

I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.

Only stereotypes, can break you.

They Called Her UglyThey called her ugly
and she screamed that she was beautiful
because that is what she believed
and They screamed twice as loud
and They left a small scar on her arm that was
big and red and bright
for all to see.

They called her ugly
and she yelled that she was beautiful
because that is what she thought she was
and They yelled three times as loud
and They left a bigger scar on her other arm that was
big and red and bright
for all to see.

They called her ugly
and she said that she was beautiful
because that is what she hoped
and They just said it louder
and They left a scar on face that was
big and red and bright
for all to see.

They call

Lingerhow can i move forward,
when the fingerprints of my insecurities
are still lingering within my chest,
pressing against my ribs like piano keys?
i am just waiting, for the day,
when the saddest parts of me
are overcome with songs of serenity.

Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.

They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.

They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.

That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.

The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.

But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.

But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
th

PhantomWhen life
or fate
or whatever it is
that puts things together
and takes them apart...
when It
amputated you,
it left me
with a phantom
limb
and you are still attached
to my body
when I dance
and make love
alone

ten ways this breakup isn't meant for the movies1.
you go out for twelve eggs and come back
with half a dozen and a new girlfriend.
you hold the eggs out to me like
six dead birds is enough of a peace offering.

2.
i push the eggs out of your hand and stay
with my hand over your heart as i watch them
fall. if they do not hit the ground, this is all a dream.

3.
the eggs smash on the tile and splatter
on the cherry wood cabinets, newly installed
that cost me two paychecks.

3.
the egg whites hit your leather shoes that
you’ve worn for two months straight
because you think they make you look more sophisticated.

3.
the egg whites hit the fridge halfway up, barely touching
the moose mag

Dear friend,You have to understand, dear
The reason to why I run.
I run away from reality
From the lungs that cannot
Take anymore smoke
From the heart that threatens to
Stop...
I run away because
I'm a coward
Because I'm afraid of life
Afraid to care or love.
I'm afraid that every time
I'm glad it blows up in my face
And that every time I smile
I shed a million more tears.
That's why I run, dear
You have to understand.
I was destined to be a fighter but
I don't want to fight anymore.
I was destined to be a warrior
But how am I supposed to win when
The war I fight is against life itself?
I know that I always blow everything up but-
I keep stepping on mines, dear...
...I keep stepping on mines...

ellipsisshe goes to sleep
clawing at her chest with pinpoint accuracy
for an emptiness she can’t describe,
but hates all the same. tomorrow

she will write a letter: “dear boy,
i always wanted to be somebody’s
flowery poem, but the verses carved in my arms
are riddled with ugly clichés. & you are why

i don’t sleep through the night. if
we were a language, i was the
subordinating conjunction, you were

the punctuation.

i remember you in staccato
conclusions, solemn absences
of goodbye”

TearsI am not afraid to cry.

I am not afraid for you to see the tears

My tears.

Don’t tell me I have no heart.

Don’t tell me I have no soul.

For without them I could not cry.

You may not see my tears but they are there.

I have learned to let myself cry for the things I’ve loved,

For the things I’ve lost.

They are silent tears, but they are mine.

So let me cry.

Let me show you I have a heart.

Let the things that touch my heart be shown through my tears.

I am not afraid to cry.

I am notI’m not your little boy.
You’re not my little girl.
I’m just someone you met,
And wants to change the world
I’m not the prince in your dreams
I don’t have smarts or might
I’m just the one that screams
And cries to sleep at night
I’m not who you want me to be.
I will never be what you are.
I’m myself, I am free.
I’m not ashamed of my scars
I’m not that weak
You’re not that strong
You still have company
But I’m still alone
So I speak
Though this poem.
It’s not a pretty love song
I’m just saying what pains me, explaining what’s going on.
Because I am not perfect,
I’m not retarded,
I’m just like you,
Broken Hearted
Never forget,
There is always a reason to be
And I won’t regret
I’m always happy to be me.

Second ShadowThe hand on your shoulder
The whispers in your mind
The words on your tongue
The voice in your throat
And the feelings in your soul

To drive to madness
To seduce the insane
To draw the blood
And dull the senses
To plague the memories
Of damage done
To fake safe haven
As the character changes

Light the anger and fuel the rage
Another mind to feed
A second shadow
To take you into eternity

Hold on to my sanity every single day
I’m not gonna fall.
Those hungry, greedy holes you left
They start calling.

Just like a cold-blooded murderer
You use every heart you can find
When will you ever be satisfied?

You destroy everything you build
and tear everyone you love
Just to die and start over again.
Replay, replay, replay...
Until you grow weaker, and weaker.

You never destroyed me.
I destroyed myself to forget you.
I die every day in an endless cycle,
The rotating remnants of revolting hearts.

Just like water, I choke and swallow.
I mirror your mind, your thoughts, and your desire
And just like Narcissus, you fall deeper and

I'm a monsterWe all have little monsters in us
that whisper ugly words into our ears.
My soul is at war, it is a fight
between the human and the monster in me,
and I fear... that the monster will win.

The monster controls me...
it forces me to think the worst of others
and it tells me to isolate myself,
to protect myself from those evil humans.
The monster dictates my every move,
I must pretend that I am a human...
lest anyone think of me as a monster.

The human inside of me has long died
and the seemingly innocent person you see
is nothing but a disgusting monster
hiding in the body of another,
preying on the weaknesses -
the weaknesses of those fra

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All I really want...What's it going to take to move on?
What's it going to take to leave behind this pain?
Part of me is angry,
Part of me is depressed,
Part of me is heartbroken,
And all of me is confused.
But all of me can also Deal.
I deal with seeing people kiss and thinking of us,
I deal with those dreams where I swear I can feel your touch,
hear your voice,
smell your skin,
I deal with those heart-wrenching moments when I think I see you out of the corner of my eye,

The Violet DreamI dream everynight,
A strange, violet dream:
I am wandering through a clothing store,
And you are standing there, behind a pillar of mirrors,
At first, I gasp: your image brings such pain,
But then, a warmth spreads through me:
You are mine again.
But before I can say a word, breathe a whisper,
A family member comes to collect me,
And drag me away.
And you stand there, silent,
Staring me down,
With this look on your face as if you don't know who I am.
And that hurts so much.
I suppose I am scared of you forgetting me.
As I am pulled away, I say,
"I'm sorry!"
As softly and quickly as I can,
And you continue to stand there,
A

Letter to My First LoveTo my dear First Love,

I miss you more than you could know,
I do not cry over you anymore, but remembering you makes me sigh,
I've felt guilt for not being strong before,
I've felt anger for not being with you,
I've felt grief for dreaming you and not having you here,
I am proud of you because a part of you will always be mine,
I smile when I see your pictures, your writings,
I feel as if someone tugs my heart from inside me everytime.

I miss you more than you could know,
But I know that you are busy,
I know that you have a new life to lead outside of our story,
And it just doesn't include me anymore.
And for that, I

The Cost of SuicideUnder the shadow of the tree,
I close my eyes from light,
I try to imagine the cost of death,
Under the Red Moon's sight.

What would death cost to you dear girl,
For you to chance it each day,
What would death cost to us dear girl,
For you to cast it away?

Does it amount to blood and screams,
Tears and sorrowful loss?
I cry a single crimson tear,
And wonder what the cost.

For due revenge,
For desperate risks,
For a chance of eternal escape?
Why must our world be so cruel,
To sew that wicked cape,

The dark, thick Cloak that drapes too low,
It is heavy and silent as stone,
Whoever chances to wear it, know,
You will feel what

The Vampire's TuneBleed me,
Bleed me,
Take my arms and feed me,
Try to sustain me,
Haste, I feel the chill.

Bleed me,
Bleed me,
Break my neck and keep me,
Try to complete me,
Hark, I fear the kill.

Bleed me,
Bleed me,
Lose me and then seek me,
Cover your eyes and scar me,
Here, I hold my breath until…

Until the blood comes weeping down,
Falling on the sacred ground,
Tempting me to scream out your name,
But it will never be the same.
Trying hard to hold it fast,
Sing a tune that will never last,
And beckoning slowly from the rain,
Is my proof I am insane.

Bleed me,
Bleed me,
Take your arms…now feed me.
Try to escape me,
Ha,

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Submitted: September 29, 2012
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Lost...You're Lost...

by ~topazcat511, Sep 29, 2012, 9:52:08 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

"I don't trust me, for loving you"
I wish I had the nerve to tell you to your face,
To put what I mean into sound, that you can understand and treasure…
You're lost…
Just like everyone else…
But no one knows how to help the other…

"This is more than I can give"
No, I'll give you all I can…
Because I care about you…
Because I want to be with you…..
And you're lost….
A lot like me…

Why is everything so complicated….
Where is my heart…
I do believe it's in your hand,
Tattooed on your skin, on your sleeve….
You're lost….And I can't be your light…
I'll bring the string to draw you from your labrynth,
I'll shine the light to guide you from the shore,
I'll call out and sing to guide your blind eyes….
But you're lost…you can't find yourself in that darkness…

Please give me that chance,
Feel my hand,
Hold it and trust it…
Because whichever path you choose…
You know I'll still be here….

Lost...You're Lost...by ~topazcat511

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2012-2013 ~topazcat511

The words in quotations are lyrics from a song I was listening too. Two Points for Gryffindor for whoever can figure them out

~Kailani-e Sep 30, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

I'm a Ravenclaw though O_O.... xD
Beautiful poem though

Reply

~topazcat511 Sep 30, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I'm a RavenClaw too, I just typed it like that to get people's attention. Can you guess?

Reply

~Kailani-e Oct 1, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

WHOOP! Ravenclaws for the win! xD No... I can't.... -_-

Reply

~topazcat511 Oct 1, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

lol, okay, its from It's Not That Easy by Erin McCarley

Reply

~Kailani-e Oct 1, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

O_O Don't tell everyone else! Now they will know and cheat O_O (xD)

Reply

~topazcat511 Oct 1, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

hehe, It's okay

nobody guessed so I thought I might as well, You might like it actually, its one of my favs

Reply

~Kailani-e Oct 1, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Okay! I will listen to it!!!

Reply

~topazcat511 Oct 1, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

^_^

Reply

~SECRET-NINJA-SUPER-M Sep 30, 2012 General Artist

But I'm a Hufflepuff!

Reply

~topazcat511 Sep 30, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

And I'm a Ravenclaw, but I'm just sayin

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