[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl

Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile

I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you

If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down

Your gorgeous eyes
Are mesmerising
You

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More from ~topazcat511

Strawberry Kisses and Chocolate AmberSubtle traces on a window's pain,
Smokey wisps of vanilla's tune,
Amethyst sheets in an emerald grove,
And strawberry kisses on my tongue.

The sweet red juice coats my lip,
And bites bitter in sweet innocence,
The wind braids my hair in youthful strain,
And I drown in pools of chocolate amber.

The magenta flower blooms with a glowing core,
A feeling never felt before,
And wraps your whisper 'round my spine,
And the drums beneath the skin dance wildly.

The slow march down the crackled trail,
Leads to the ending dusk and dawn,
The last kiss you paint upon my lips,
Reminds me to hold on.

Don't Let Me Fall / Just Hoping / In This DarknessIs it true?
Or is it exaggerated lies?

Can it be real?
Or it something misunderstood?

I just hope,
That if it's true you'll help explain,
Because here I am wondering at your name,
Just hoping that you changed.

Babe, I'm stuck so far deep within this darkness,
I can't see any light and I need to know the truth,
Please don't turn away,
I need you to prove to me what is real,
I just don't see a way,
Out of this terrible decay,

And every moment spent,
Dreaming,
Of a love so deep,
So deep within this darkness I still hide,
Knowing that I'll never see the light…

And every hand reaching out to me,
Telling me theirs is reality,

My Own Thoughts...It seems like I can never truly believe anything...I have trust issues that run too deep to know. I guess it's one reason why I'm so go-with-the-flow on most things because I expect things to be what they don't seem to be. I expect the change, the lies, the misinformation. I've always expected it. And then there's the matter of believing in myself, my own thoughts...it's like I'm always questioning... "Is this what I'm supposed to feel? Is there more to feel? Am I feeling this for another reason? Am I fooling myself? Is this true? What if I'm wrong?" The questions buzz through my skull like hornets from a disturbed nest, worrying me and troub

The Queen of Bleached RosesI step into the golden shadows,
Shuffle over this dusty wooden floor,
And catch from the corner of my eye,
A sight of sore remembrance;

There, in that oval-ed mirror,
There is a maiden with her hair aside.

Her eyes are darkened,
Ebony streaks bleed from her bones,
Lips paler than the most tired bleached rose.

Her breath shaking from the winter's bite,
Her skin prickled with anticipation,

I am naught but a husk,
Barely standing from fatigue,

How strange and dead I do appear,
In these golden shadows.

The Only Therian Known To MeDo you know what it's like to be alone?
To look at the stars and know,
That even though across the threshold, there's family,
And across the land and sea, there's friends,
You still feel alone?

And this kind of alone feels so hollow and cracked….

I have a love of my own,
Sleeping soundly, dreaming of my touch,
I have two families, one of blood and one of spirit,
And yet…I am the only therian known to me….

I am the only one who connects animalistically…
Who does not believe in her own humanity half the time.
I am the only one who wears her tail for something more than they do…
A part of me yearns for a pride…a pack…
I just wish

Aura's PoisonDo you know what it is like to fall in love with the one thing that can destroy you?
What if that one thing is someone you can't live without…
Ha, it's like falling in love with poison.
Do you know what it's like?
Do you know what it TASTES like?
I've tasted it,
I've bitten the flesh,
And tasted the chill,
I've clawed into the bindings,
And tore away at my own heart,
I've let the blood run through my veins,
Like a crystal tonic,
Freezing my tears and shocking my skin,
Do you know what it's like?
What it tastes like to kiss poison?
Take a little sip,
You'll live my dear,
Take a gulp,
You could feel dizzy soon,
Take a swal

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Submitted: August 8, 2012
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My Knights of Spirit

by ~topazcat511, Aug 8, 2012, 3:31:35 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I smile at the thought that I have knights,
The men in my life that care for my being and soul,
One is hot-tempered but gently protective,
Promising a day when he'll cross the oceans to protect me and guide me.

I smile at the thought that I have knights,
The men in my life who have heard my spirit sing,
One is kind, and swore to trials of measure for the sake of my injury,
Always coaxing a laugh from every riddle and answer.

I smile at the thought that I have knights,
The men in my life who worry for me,
It seems that often they become knighted without knowing,
And care about me, despite the distance separating us.

So raise a glass for the knights of my kingdom,
The ones who wait to read my words,
The ones who make me smile when I'm sorrowful,
The ones who make me laugh when it rains,
I raise a glass for them in thanks,
Wishing I could be with them in the flesh,
Rather than spirit.

My Knights of Spiritby ~topazcat511

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2012-2013 ~topazcat511

For DevlinTheBlack, LordCrynos, and my other "knights" to come

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~Kailani-e Sep 17, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Awh

That's so nice!

(xD When are you going to write one about me O.o JK! xD ) Amazing! I love it!

Reply

~topazcat511 Sep 17, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

haha, I just might write one about you

give me time kailani-e, I'll think about it ^_^

Reply

~Kailani-e Sep 17, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

xD You don't have to

Reply

~topazcat511 Sep 17, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I'll think about it, you're the sweetest person on here

Reply

~Kailani-e Sep 17, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Awh >_< Thank you

Reply

~SecretlyFading Aug 12, 2012 Student Writer

I know the feeling~

I have a sort of knight in my life, he's my best friend

My favorite piece so far~

Reply

~topazcat511 Aug 12, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Thats so sweet

Reply

Mood: Delighted

!cawelling Aug 12, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

awesome poem with great imagery (at least i think so).

Reply

~topazcat511 Aug 12, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thanks ^_^ that means alot

Reply

!cawelling Aug 12, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

your welcome

Reply

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