×

You don't just die.Do you understand?
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Hearts
Souls
And sanity.

Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
Everyone dies
Everyone cries
Everyone suffers
From YOUR goodbyes.

Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
With you.

I wish...I wish I was a monster
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
Just friends
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.

I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.

Only stereotypes, can break you.

I wonderI wonder who’d care
If I’d crash and burn
At this very moment.

Because
I no longer do.

Because
I no longer have the fight in me,
Like an engine without oil,
I’m out of juice.

I feel cold.
Numb.
I wonder what’s wrong with me.

I wonder why I’m still here.

I wonder about these tears rolling down my cheeks,
I wonder if they’re a sign.

I wonder if I've given up.
I feel as though I have.

And yet
My body’s still moving
Drawing haggard breaths
That rattle into my aching, empty skull.

I wonder why.

Lingerhow can i move forward,
when the fingerprints of my insecurities
are still lingering within my chest,
pressing against my ribs like piano keys?
i am just waiting, for the day,
when the saddest parts of me
are overcome with songs of serenity.

Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.

They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.

They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.

That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.

The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.

But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.

But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
th

PhantomWhen life
or fate
or whatever it is
that puts things together
and takes them apart...
when It
amputated you,
it left me
with a phantom
limb
and you are still attached
to my body
when I dance
and make love
alone

ten ways this breakup isn't meant for the movies1.
you go out for twelve eggs and come back
with half a dozen and a new girlfriend.
you hold the eggs out to me like
six dead birds is enough of a peace offering.

2.
i push the eggs out of your hand and stay
with my hand over your heart as i watch them
fall. if they do not hit the ground, this is all a dream.

3.
the eggs smash on the tile and splatter
on the cherry wood cabinets, newly installed
that cost me two paychecks.

3.
the egg whites hit your leather shoes that
you’ve worn for two months straight
because you think they make you look more sophisticated.

3.
the egg whites hit the fridge halfway up, barely touching
the moose mag

Dear friend,You have to understand, dear
The reason to why I run.
I run away from reality
From the lungs that cannot
Take anymore smoke
From the heart that threatens to
Stop...
I run away because
I'm a coward
Because I'm afraid of life
Afraid to care or love.
I'm afraid that every time
I'm glad it blows up in my face
And that every time I smile
I shed a million more tears.
That's why I run, dear
You have to understand.
I was destined to be a fighter but
I don't want to fight anymore.
I was destined to be a warrior
But how am I supposed to win when
The war I fight is against life itself?
I know that I always blow everything up but-
I keep stepping on mines, dear...
...I keep stepping on mines...

ellipsisshe goes to sleep
clawing at her chest with pinpoint accuracy
for an emptiness she can’t describe,
but hates all the same. tomorrow

she will write a letter: “dear boy,
i always wanted to be somebody’s
flowery poem, but the verses carved in my arms
are riddled with ugly clichés. & you are why

i don’t sleep through the night. if
we were a language, i was the
subordinating conjunction, you were

the punctuation.

i remember you in staccato
conclusions, solemn absences
of goodbye”

brain squealsI beat depressions in the earth
for my brain squeals and waves
that burst in my wet ears
until something makes me drown.
I will. (again) V.

Virginia,

put rocks in pockets
and walk right in --
I'll drink your overcoat
until your throat weeps
and your soaked hair
weighs you down.

I promise.

with love,
Ouse.

P.S.
brain squeals are from cold sweats
sleep well.

I am notI’m not your little boy.
You’re not my little girl.
I’m just someone you met,
And wants to change the world
I’m not the prince in your dreams
I don’t have smarts or might
I’m just the one that screams
And cries to sleep at night
I’m not who you want me to be.
I will never be what you are.
I’m myself, I am free.
I’m not ashamed of my scars
I’m not that weak
You’re not that strong
You still have company
But I’m still alone
So I speak
Though this poem.
It’s not a pretty love song
I’m just saying what pains me, explaining what’s going on.
Because I am not perfect,
I’m not retarded,
I’m just like you,
Broken Hearted
Never forget,
There is always a reason to be
And I won’t regret
I’m always happy to be me.

TearsI am not afraid to cry.

I am not afraid for you to see the tears

My tears.

Don’t tell me I have no heart.

Don’t tell me I have no soul.

For without them I could not cry.

You may not see my tears but they are there.

I have learned to let myself cry for the things I’ve loved,

For the things I’ve lost.

They are silent tears, but they are mine.

So let me cry.

Let me show you I have a heart.

Let the things that touch my heart be shown through my tears.

I am not afraid to cry.

then i burst into flames and fell i heard your cosmic blow

crack the crusted knuckles

of his hands

and

lodge itself into the mantle

of the world i cradl

Skylapse

And now I finally see-
The true face of faith that I once held so dearly

This sensation is somewhat familiar-
My thick tears become entangled

I clench my trembling fists-
As a regretful prayer exits my tainted lips
-
Blindly lead down this beaten path!
Reaching the end forces me to despise the past

Hymns of comfort have left me feeling torn!
This flawed cross can't protect me anymore

I always reached for what wasn't even there!
The darkness becomes clear as the light disappears

I kiss the welcoming abyss / Closing the rift I once lived
Clouds drift / Body lifts
Winds wisp / Tears twist
My pain and peace quickly shift / The over

Second ShadowThe hand on your shoulder
The whispers in your mind
The words on your tongue
The voice in your throat
And the feelings in your soul

To drive to madness
To seduce the insane
To draw the blood
And dull the senses
To plague the memories
Of damage done
To fake safe haven
As the character changes

Light the anger and fuel the rage
Another mind to feed
A second shadow
To take you into eternity

Browse More Like This

More from ~topazcat511

The Rag-Doll's HumI…I may not be the best one,
But I know I’m just as strong,
Things these days do blind us,
And let us forget our song,

The song that binds us to the blood,
And reminds us that we all love,
One must bravely ride into war,
And show that spirit is enough.

Enough to love and to hold,
To see through skin, and see through bone,
To look past what culture builds us up,
And not see the soul... as a clone.

A clone of stereotypical sets,
The kind that leave bitter traces on your tongue,
What I fear is that Someone has chosen me,
To ride into war and be surely hung.

Hung high from the smoke-stained rows,
Leaving a single haunting song up

Tell Me That Things Change...Things change don’t they…
Pulled out from under me,
Taking my breath and flying off into the smoke,
Leaving me here with my chin in the gravel,
And my hand stretching towards your shadow…

Things change don’t they…
Never really thought my heart would be this mangled,
That I’d be left behind and strangled by the very ones who claimed my love…
I never thought I’d be marching solely on a path,
Pausing every turn, just to hear if anyone still calls my name…

Things change don’t they…
I am trying to step out, to walk on, to go forward, to grow and change…
They’re

My Affair with DarknessThat heavy lidded,
Cotton-eyed,
Fuzzy thinking way,
Of stumbling to your creaking bed,
And resting from the day,

That comfort-seeking,
Music-tied,
Fleeting, floating feeling,
Of drifting into wrinkled time,
And making love to Darkness.

And that sweet taste of Darkness,
Encasing your own warmth,
Letting you forget your worries,
As you reach for his handsome form.

And that sweet kiss from Darkness,
As you faint into his song,
Is a better escape to me now,
Than any sun-lit love, long gone.

View Gallery

Featured in Groups

×

The Clockwork Doll's Reflection

by ~topazcat511, Jul 31, 2012, 4:45:08 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

The clockwork doll stumbles home,
She cries oil on her bed,
Falling to the floor she splits her side,
And pulls out her broken heart.

It's large but rusted,
Hardened and dark,
Thorns have grown around it,
A weed with one red bud.

Gasping she fingers the bud,
Its beauty precious and young,
How can something so beautiful,
Bring so much torment and pain?

Placing her heart back in her chest,
She seals the seams and stands,
In the mirror, a human girl cries,
Her brown hair draping down across her arms.

Around her on the floor,
Are scattered papers and sketches.
Swinging from her hand,
Is a ring on a cord.

The clockwork doll steps towards the mirror,
And places her silver hand on the glass,
From inside the mirror,
The human girl sniffs, and sighs,
Smiling up at her half-heartedly,
"I'm fine."

61

12 14 2

The Clockwork Doll's Reflectionby ~topazcat511

Favourite

Description Details Share

Download HTML download, 1.0 KB

comment nice things please, this is another look inside my mind

Details

Stats

Submitted on: July 31, 2012
File Size: 1.0 KB

Views: 61
Favourites: 12 (who?)
Comments: 14
Downloads: 2

~~love 0 0~~

~~joy 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

Mood: Wow!

=FikryFadhillah Aug 3, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

wow you're very good, it's awesome

Reply

~topazcat511 Aug 3, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thanks

Reply

=FikryFadhillah Aug 3, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

You're welcome!

Reply

~Fantasy-WarriorX Aug 2, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

I like the imagery used in this piece

Reply

~topazcat511 Aug 2, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thanks ^_^

Reply

~Kailani-e Aug 1, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

This is a beautiful poem. Your works are all so heart felt.

Reply

~topazcat511 Aug 1, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thank you

Reply

~Kailani-e Aug 1, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Your welcome!

Reply

~AcousticRose Jul 31, 2012

You certainly have a way with words

Reply

~topazcat511 Aug 1, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thank you

Reply

Previous
1
2
Next