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The Letter My Parents Will Never ReadThe words just slip through my teeth, now,
They dance out of my throat and coat my tongue,
"I don't like that anymore"
"I'm still the same person"
"I'm not mad at you"
I've gotten so good at lying, now,
I sometimes can't tell when even I'm telling the truth.
"Sure, everything's good"
"See? I'm smiling"
"I haven't had my first kiss"
You know what?
I'm not fine.
I have to hide my heart from my own parents because they don't understand.
I have to pretend that I'm mad at him and have "repented from my ways".
But in reality, I wait to read his words online,
I see his pictures,
I've kept the notes we wrote to each other in secret,
I'm in pain.
I'm hurt and full of longing to see him again,
Because you wouldn't let me be with him for the most idiotic reason,
Part of me hates you,
Part of me loves you,
Part of me is angry and spitting fire,
Part of me is hurt and bleeding.
And the more that you both pretend that ever
Life is Short, Love is QuickWhat usually happens when one finds a true love? And I don't mean a soul-mate, twin-flame kind of love, I mean that kind of love that ignites your skin and makes your blood rush with excitement at his/her name? What usually happens? The girl most likely falls for the guy first, in most occasions. Thus, she hides her feelings because it would be considered "improper" or for some other reason. Or perhaps the young man falls for the lass quicker? And he doesn't whisper a word to her in fear of rejection or something else something deeper. Either way, the genders hide their true thoughts of the other because of uncertainty on a matter. And I can't stand this at all.
If a man were to love me, in spirit or in blood, I pray that he have enough strength and courage to tell me what he truly thinks of me. I want the truth, not tip-toeing around the subject. And yet, am I not being hypocritical? I have had tons of crushes, as any other human being in this world, and onl
You'll Never Catch MeThere,
In the center of the prison,
Sways a starved young woman.
She drifts side to side,
Swinging from her rusted manacles.
"You'll never catch me, my dears," she sings,
"You'll never capture my soul,"
"As long as I still breathe, my dears,"
"My spirit will be whole!"
She chuckles and sighs,
Tears in her eyes,
Staining her irises red,
This acrobatic game she plays,
Fills her veins with lead.
"I will stay here, however long, and you will never see,"
"I can sing, here, in my cell,"
"But, my dears, you'll never catch me!"
Strong Enough...A shivering breath,
A chill on the skin,
The continuous twittering of the southern crickets,
And a little girl, curled in her bed.
Just a little brown-headed girl,
All tucked in without a care,
Her dreams take her across the world and under the sea,
With Disney-fied promises of true love and happy endings.
How simple it really was,
Back before that girl became me
She used to fantasize and dream during both turns of the Sun,
And never feared anything or anyone.
She loved both her mother and her father,
Her little baby sister and her pups and kittens,
She loved everything.
She knew nothing.
That little brown-headed girl never knew her mother's bitter heart as well as I do now,
And she never knew her sister would change,
She never knew her father would nearly work himself to death each night,
And she didn't know that money controlled the world.
She never knew that she'd be criticized for her body by others,
For her mind and spirit by her own blood-kin,
She never knew that one day, s
I Won't Exist...I sit here on a sunken bed,
Surrounded by bright, meaningless colors,
The room itself numbed by patterns and details,
So many treasures,
So many "important" awards, trophies,
So many perfectly stacked books,
So many perfectly arranged pictures of a perfectly posing girl,
All of it means nothing, NOTHING!!!
And yet everything
Every little freaking thing in this little freaking room,
Is a part, a piece, a puzzle,
Of my existence All of this is me as I exist in their eyes .
Sometimes I just want to sweep my arm across the dresser,
Throw everything to the floor,
Watch the cheap perfume bottles shatter, sending hazy fumes into the air.
Sometimes, I just want to stab a knife through the paintings,
ripping straight down and leave the canvas flying.
Breaking all the sculptures, decided I won't exist anymore.
Sometimes, I just really want to break these windows I sleep by,
And slip my pale legs through the shattered glass.
I want to hold the match and let it lick my finger,
Whisper to MeWhisper to me in my hair,
Tell me if you're real,
Tell me all the sacred things,
I never thought I'd feel.
Whisper to me in my neck,
Tell me if I'm sane,
Tell me that you miss me,
And you'll hold my hand again.
Whisper to me in my back,
Tell me our love remained,
Tell me that you still care,
And your heart, my words have stained.
The Bitter Nightmare/Too Heavy A BurdenRusted daggers flung from their tongues,
Deep, infected scars reopened,
Tear away the skin above my breast,
And witness my heart's weak thrum.
You, you have made it so,
You poisoned it with your truthful tonic,
Your tampered quotes and encrypted sneers,
Do not twine the needle deeper,
Fling your hair through the seeping blood,
Paint the canvas of my years,
Falling from the chasm's edge,
Releasing my mind from the bitter nightmare,
I watch the sun comb its way through the trees,
And struggle to stand against the bars of home,
My hands and feet chained, a dusty cloth between my teeth,
I wait for the warden's glance,
That moment of fated chance,
Do not tempt me, mad suitor,
I am too heavy a burden for any soul.
A Mother's HateWhat am I to do?
Other than silently scream,
Crying tears poisoned by your hate,
And holding my hands so tight my fingers ache?
What am I to do?
When you twist my words to make them disrespectful,
When you claim I'm stupid and naïve, retarded and clueless,
And the only blood-sister I have spits out your own insults as she pleases?
What am I to do?
Other than hide online and secretly write my thoughts,
Shaking my head and staring off into space,
Standing there as you rant on and on .and on .?
What am I to do?
When you tell me you want me out,
And that you can't wait until the world ruins me?
Ruins me until I turn into you?
What am I to do?
Other than hide in my room,
Surrounded by pointless treasures .
Shadowed paintings and dusty sculptures
What am I to do?
When you made me feel like this before,
Nothing mattered anymore .
And I only felt the pain that comes from a mother's hate.
Stand up, Now!Out the window,
Through the sky,
The dawn ignites my way,
I see across the world's rounded skin,
And cry tears of rain,
For all the pain.
I am trying to call out to you,
"Breathe, Live, Remember!"
But not a single soul is listening,
We are all bound by our own chains of self-disgust and anger.
I will run to you,
Across the lands,
Across the seas.
Raise you up by your shoulders,
"Stand up, Now!"
Wipe your tears,
Shed your skin,
Break your chains,
Let your life begin.
"Now! Stand up, Now!"
Screaming in frustration,
I drain my blood and give a little to you all,
In hopes that you will breathe,
In hopes that you will live,
In hopes that you will remember.
I have spread my blood so thin around the skies,
The dawn is tinted crimson and maroon,
My voice is tired from casting it around the world,
Now it is only the winds' whisper.
My body is so drained and weak,
I lay under the elder maple tree,
My skin translucent and paper-like.
Slowly, a shadow,
Not always the endThe seasons are passing,
That is unchanging.
The first leaves start to fall,
Leaving the tree alone, standing tall.
The flowers are withering,
The morning dew still slightly glimmering.
Life slowly being taken from the earth,
Letting the Winter prepare it for rebirth.
After the Winter the earth will be reborn,
The farmers will the harvest their corn.
New flowers will grow,
Be it fast or slow.
Forgetting the Winter and it's icy cold.
Leaving but the future to unfold.
The cold Winter removed old life,
Just to make place for new life.
An end is not always an end,
But make sure your time wasn't misspend.
The end is just a new start,
And that is truly a work of art.
QuestionsDo you ever wish that you can turn back the clock,
And set right any wrongs that you have caused others?
Do you ever dream that you can change your fate,
For the better?
More than you can ever imagine.
Do you ever wonder what other people are thinking,
So that you can know your friends from your foes?
Do you ever think about who truly loves you,
And who wants to slip a knife into your back?
Every single day.
Do you ever root for the underdog,
Knowing that their struggle is doomed to fail?
Do you ever hope that the tyranny that surrounds you,
Will crumble into ruin?
I think that you know the answer.
Do you ever wish?
Even though it's all in vain?
InvincibleThey say that I can't last much longer,
Grinning as I scream in pain
And laughing as I gasp for air.
But they won't reach their goal.
"Daddy, you'll be back, won't you?"
Her words still echo in my head,
A piece of happiness I keep within.
"Of course, my angel. Sooner than you'd think."
Darkness embraces my consciousness,
And every breath becomes a struggle,
But still I hear her worried voice.
"Promise?" she asks. "Promise." I answer.
And as I lie here on the floor,
Beaten, bloody, and alone,
I feel my heart beating in my chest,
Fighting to fulfill my promise.
"But how can you know?" she calls
As I'm halfway out the door.
I smile as I bend down to hug her.
"for you I'll be invincible."
And though my world is made of pain,
And my blood seems caught on fire,
I draw one breath after another,
And know that I'll return alive.
92. All That I Have.All that I have, I give to you.
My mind, my body, my soul, all to you.
I give you my everything, treat it with care,
And all that I ask from you is you keep your flare.
That one thing, that magic, that spark that drew me to you,
All that I have, I give to you, do with it whatever you want to.
All that I ask is that you let me love you,
And that you tell me that you love me too.
All that I have, I give to you,
I give everything, all of it, to you,
All that I ask in return is you let me love you,
That you believe I love you, and that you love me too.
Jennifer, I give you my everything, because I love you.
The Heart Fruit.
You once said you would be so much less without me.
And believe me, I would be nothing if we weren't "we".
You once said that you could never express how much you love me.
I still say I love you more, even if you would be less without me.
You may be less without me, but I would be nothing without you.
Now Jennifer, read these words and know what I'm saying is true.
I can honestly say that I would be nothing without you.
I would be nothing without that sweet reply of "I love you too."
And finally, "With this fruit I bestow..."
Why do those words sound so very hollow?
Because they are not mine, and I can tell you myself.
That you are the only thing that gets me through Hell.
I tell you that you are my rock, my reason, and my life.
You are the only thing that gets me through this strife.
Now Jennifer, there are no words to express what I feel for you.
So I guess that these will have to do. "Jennifer, I love you."
Mister, oh, MisterMister, oh, Mister.
What would you do?
If you were in my shoes?
People relying on you,
To make the right words
And to free them like birds
But who put the cages around them?
Handless men like you.
Thinking they're closer to God, **** you
You're as close as the rest of us
Rapist or insanie, just as close
Doesn't matter, even if they over-dose
You fill me with disgust.
Lying, saying God would send some of his lambs to hell for they love
Makes me think, "Do I want to believe in God above?
If he sends his children for falling in love
But love that comes with rules?
I think that's bull"
Don't tell me God loves us all
When you damn people to hell
And shout "All's well that ends well"
We're all the same
We all deserve a chance
To join the dance
Mister, oh, Mister
What would you do?
If you were in my shoes?
I'm gonna leave you
I'm gonna leave us
Whatever the hell 'this' is
So say whatever you want
Tell me that you don't want me
Tell me that you want me
I'm begging you
Just humour me
With a hint
With a sound
You turn to face me
But you remain like stone
You stay sitting
Staring into my eyes
But like your mouth
Your eyes speak no words
No hints as to what you want
No emotion, no response
Your silence overwhelms me
Your silence fills me
My jaw left slacken
Waiting for you
But silent you sit
The quietness speaks your peace
My arms, defeated
Return to my side soundlessly
It wasn't always like this
This silent ghost in front of me
This broken man
Once so filled with life
The first to speak
With a loud confident voice
When I was walking alone
We used to talk
Throughout the nights
We would hold each other
And speak kindly
I can't stop wondering
How did we lose the words
The words that once filled the air
The air that is now dead and still
How did we let it die
I can't escape this silence
As the light fades
And my eyes close
This heated lake
Captured me in its grasp
I felt the ice inside my soul break
I waited too long to cross the lake's surface
But now incarcerate in this liquid coffin
I stay in this cool but never frozen state
With an eternity under the icy ripples
The waters formed around me
Carving out my heart
Washing away my happiness
As it sucked its way into my soul
I can't escape this feeling
Of sudden loss of air
I can't let it leave me here
But with half a breath left
And the time ticking down
I hold on to it for as long as I can
Trying to hold it forever
But I'm realizing something
Forever is a long time
I can't hide from the dark water's claws
The water is inescapable here
With every drop is thirsting for me to give in
Craving for my resignation
I can't quit
I won't quit
And as I wretch and writhe
Beneath the pounding waves
Refusing its pull
Left in the cold
Shivering at the lake's floor
The last ray of light is gon
Think again.If you think death can't be beaten, you're not trying hard enough,
If you think nothing is eternal, then you've never felt true love.
If you want me to help you, and I tell you to help yourself,
You would think me rude, but some things I just can't tell you myself.
You live and you learn, and you have to live these things,
Empiricism is the only way to know how a nightingale sings.
You must know it for yourself, some things cannot be taught,
When you learn, you must adapt and change what you once thought.
My friend, it is not that I want to keep the knowledge to myself,
It is that I cannot tell you, for some things you must learn yourself.
I cannot tell you what beauty is, for it is everchanging for all of us,
I cannot tell you what is bad or good, for the knowledge is within us.
If I could tell you, I gladly would, if I could put these concepts into words,
But I cannot, so you must live and learn, no matter how much it hurts.
So now it is time,
The Clockwork Doll's ReflectionThe clockwork doll stumbles home,
She cries oil on her bed,
Falling to the floor she splits her side,
And pulls out her broken heart.
It's large but rusted,
Hardened and dark,
Thorns have grown around it,
A weed with one red bud.
Gasping she fingers the bud,
Its beauty precious and young,
How can something so beautiful,
Bring so much torment and pain?
Placing her heart back in her chest,
She seals the seams and stands,
In the mirror, a human girl cries,
Her brown hair draping down across her arms.
Around her on the floor,
Are scattered papers and sketches.
Swinging from her hand,
Is a ring on a cord.
The clockwork doll steps towards the mirror,
And places her silver hand on the glass,
From inside the mirror,
The human girl sniffs, and sighs,
Smiling up at her half-heartedly,
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More