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Strong Enough...A shivering breath,
A chill on the skin,
The continuous twittering of the southern crickets,
And a little girl, curled in her bed.
Just a little brown-headed girl,
All tucked in without a care,
Her dreams take her across the world and under the sea,
With Disney-fied promises of true love and happy endings.
How simple it really was,
Back before that girl became me
She used to fantasize and dream during both turns of the Sun,
And never feared anything or anyone.
She loved both her mother and her father,
Her little baby sister and her pups and kittens,
She loved everything.
She knew nothing.
That little brown-headed girl never knew her mother's bitter heart as well as I do now,
And she never knew her sister would change,
She never knew her father would nearly work himself to death each night,
And she didn't know that money controlled the world.
She never knew that she'd be criticized for her body by others,
For her mind and spirit by her own blood-kin,
She never knew that one day, s
I Won't Exist...I sit here on a sunken bed,
Surrounded by bright, meaningless colors,
The room itself numbed by patterns and details,
So many treasures,
So many "important" awards, trophies,
So many perfectly stacked books,
So many perfectly arranged pictures of a perfectly posing girl,
All of it means nothing, NOTHING!!!
And yet everything
Every little freaking thing in this little freaking room,
Is a part, a piece, a puzzle,
Of my existence All of this is me as I exist in their eyes .
Sometimes I just want to sweep my arm across the dresser,
Throw everything to the floor,
Watch the cheap perfume bottles shatter, sending hazy fumes into the air.
Sometimes, I just want to stab a knife through the paintings,
ripping straight down and leave the canvas flying.
Breaking all the sculptures, decided I won't exist anymore.
Sometimes, I just really want to break these windows I sleep by,
And slip my pale legs through the shattered glass.
I want to hold the match and let it lick my finger,
The Clockwork Doll's ReflectionThe clockwork doll stumbles home,
She cries oil on her bed,
Falling to the floor she splits her side,
And pulls out her broken heart.
It's large but rusted,
Hardened and dark,
Thorns have grown around it,
A weed with one red bud.
Gasping she fingers the bud,
Its beauty precious and young,
How can something so beautiful,
Bring so much torment and pain?
Placing her heart back in her chest,
She seals the seams and stands,
In the mirror, a human girl cries,
Her brown hair draping down across her arms.
Around her on the floor,
Are scattered papers and sketches.
Swinging from her hand,
Is a ring on a cord.
The clockwork doll steps towards the mirror,
And places her silver hand on the glass,
From inside the mirror,
The human girl sniffs, and sighs,
Smiling up at her half-heartedly,
You'll Never Catch MeThere,
In the center of the prison,
Sways a starved young woman.
She drifts side to side,
Swinging from her rusted manacles.
"You'll never catch me, my dears," she sings,
"You'll never capture my soul,"
"As long as I still breathe, my dears,"
"My spirit will be whole!"
She chuckles and sighs,
Tears in her eyes,
Staining her irises red,
This acrobatic game she plays,
Fills her veins with lead.
"I will stay here, however long, and you will never see,"
"I can sing, here, in my cell,"
"But, my dears, you'll never catch me!"
Whisper to MeWhisper to me in my hair,
Tell me if you're real,
Tell me all the sacred things,
I never thought I'd feel.
Whisper to me in my neck,
Tell me if I'm sane,
Tell me that you miss me,
And you'll hold my hand again.
Whisper to me in my back,
Tell me our love remained,
Tell me that you still care,
And your heart, my words have stained.
Stand up, Now!Out the window,
Through the sky,
The dawn ignites my way,
I see across the world's rounded skin,
And cry tears of rain,
For all the pain.
I am trying to call out to you,
"Breathe, Live, Remember!"
But not a single soul is listening,
We are all bound by our own chains of self-disgust and anger.
I will run to you,
Across the lands,
Across the seas.
Raise you up by your shoulders,
"Stand up, Now!"
Wipe your tears,
Shed your skin,
Break your chains,
Let your life begin.
"Now! Stand up, Now!"
Screaming in frustration,
I drain my blood and give a little to you all,
In hopes that you will breathe,
In hopes that you will live,
In hopes that you will remember.
I have spread my blood so thin around the skies,
The dawn is tinted crimson and maroon,
My voice is tired from casting it around the world,
Now it is only the winds' whisper.
My body is so drained and weak,
I lay under the elder maple tree,
My skin translucent and paper-like.
Slowly, a shadow,
Life is Short, Love is QuickWhat usually happens when one finds a true love? And I don't mean a soul-mate, twin-flame kind of love, I mean that kind of love that ignites your skin and makes your blood rush with excitement at his/her name? What usually happens? The girl most likely falls for the guy first, in most occasions. Thus, she hides her feelings because it would be considered "improper" or for some other reason. Or perhaps the young man falls for the lass quicker? And he doesn't whisper a word to her in fear of rejection or something else something deeper. Either way, the genders hide their true thoughts of the other because of uncertainty on a matter. And I can't stand this at all.
If a man were to love me, in spirit or in blood, I pray that he have enough strength and courage to tell me what he truly thinks of me. I want the truth, not tip-toeing around the subject. And yet, am I not being hypocritical? I have had tons of crushes, as any other human being in this world, and onl
A Mother's HateWhat am I to do?
Other than silently scream,
Crying tears poisoned by your hate,
And holding my hands so tight my fingers ache?
What am I to do?
When you twist my words to make them disrespectful,
When you claim I'm stupid and naïve, retarded and clueless,
And the only blood-sister I have spits out your own insults as she pleases?
What am I to do?
Other than hide online and secretly write my thoughts,
Shaking my head and staring off into space,
Standing there as you rant on and on .and on .?
What am I to do?
When you tell me you want me out,
And that you can't wait until the world ruins me?
Ruins me until I turn into you?
What am I to do?
Other than hide in my room,
Surrounded by pointless treasures .
Shadowed paintings and dusty sculptures
What am I to do?
When you made me feel like this before,
Nothing mattered anymore .
And I only felt the pain that comes from a mother's hate.
True Love: A Painted Myth?Forgive me if I intrude,
If I'm a little bold,
I've always been a little odd,
From all that I've been told
But something about the way you smile,
Something about the way you trust,
Good Lord, send me a soul to love,
And forget this useless lust
So many tiring hours spent,
Looking for his name
Trying to find a hint,
If he's still the same
I could have been the secret girl,
Chosen at a whim,
I threw my heart at his chest,
But still, I did choose him
I don't know what is real anymore,
My mind does war against me,
Somehow I must get the patience,
To tame the visions that taint me.
So please forgive me if I'm odd,
My heart is just too hopeless to worry with,
But also because I am scared,
That true love is just a painted myth.
Denial.I know I'm in denial,
Saying I don't love her.
But I still say it all the while,
Because I have been hurt.
I know I should stop this,
I know I should just face it.
But I can't face up to this,
I can only run away from it.
I know that I still love her,
I would take her back in a heartbeat,
But as I can't have her,
I lie to myself, looking down at my feet.
I know that I still love her,
But Denial is my only friend.
MasksWith big smiles she greeted her friends,
Drowning in the crowd of people.
How many claimed to be her loved ones?
Hundreds? Thousands? She lost count long ago.
They welcomed her with jokes and laughter,
and she replied with hugs and kisses,
Pretending not to see the cracks in their masks
Or the lies in their voices.
She knew they were hiding something,
She heard the whispers behind her back,
Saw the greed behind their smiles,
And sensed their hatred long ago.
And every day she felt another part
Of her soul breaking away.
At night she tried to fix it,
Trying to reattach the broken pieces,
But as the time went by she realized
That the harder she tried, the faster she broke.
And so she continued what she had once started,
Acting cheerful, while breaking apart,
slowly creating her own mask
To hide her true self.
Until one day she met you,
The girl who refused to wear a disguise,
A big grin in your face,
And true kindness in your words.
Your left hand you had outstretched,
In your right you
I want to dieI'll slit my throat from ear to ear,
I'll watch your party from hell, as you cheer.
"You okay?" I shake my head.
I hate my life, I want to drop down dead.
I wonder if she'd care if I died.
No, probably not, she knows I lied.
I wonder if anyone would.
No, probably not, everyone thinks I should.
Tell a girl you like her, she'll smile and kiss you.
Tell a girl you like her, she'll smile and play with you.
Tell a girl you love her, she'll freeze and then leave.
Tell a girl you love her, she'll crush your heart, no reprieve.
When a girl says she loves you, when she knows she shouldn't.
It always confuses me, they always know I couldn't.
They back away slowly, scared of what might come next.
They back away slowly, knowing that was best left unsaid.
They love me, and yet they back away?
They love me, and yet they look away?
If they really loved me, surely they'd hug me, kiss me.
If they really loved me, surely they'd look at me, smile at me.
I don't know what goes through girl's minds.
The ShameDo you want to look inside,
This tortured teenage mind.
View the fragments of a broken childhood,
That she can't leave behind.
Note the twisted torment,
That snakes across her skin,
And know that it exposes,
the pain she hides within.
Watch her try to hide,
The Scars, The burns, the Shame!
the web of self destruction,
She uses to mask her pain.
This girl is damaged goods,
That's what they always say,
Someone they would rather tease and jest,
Than help her find another way.
Without You.And as the blood runs off of this blade,
And drips out onto this far out glade.
I really wish I'd told you no,
I really wish I had told you "don't go".
And as the tears ran from your eye,
I wish I could've made them dry.
But right now I wish more than anything,
That you were mine, because I am nothing.
Bitter SweetSo ends a tragedy years in the making
So many smiles I wasted time faking
Everything now is a bitter sweet end
So is this how we move on my friend
Gotta say I just don't know how you do it
How you amass all the strength to get through it
Aim to commit and alone here I sit and
I'm scared to death, that I'll gladly admit
One for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
Four to go
Five and I wonder
Dead or alive
Six and seven
I'm in heaven~
When fairy tales end.It's ok to pull the covers
and put your dreams to rest.
To let go of fantasies discovered
and quit wishing for the best.
To seize wasting time on yesterday
and give up on whats a new.
To hold the shattered mirror
and at the scattered view.
It's alright to bleed out slowly
thats all that counts.
And let go of broken promises
that only brought you doubt.
To cry alone is useless
so dont shed another tear.
After all, the monsters,
wont be your greatest fear.
It's ok just close your eyes
and dont bother to defend.
Even fairy tales once beautiful
shall come to a simple end.
NightmaresI don't want to fall asleep
I can't bare to close my eyes
I can't stand what's inside my head
Be it made of truth or lies
'Cause when I fall asleep
The nightmares take place
The worst things I can imagine
Scarier than any screaming face
In my dreams
I see you there
But you're hurting me on purpose
And you don't seem to care
I see you with other girls
And you look so happy
And I'm stood there screaming
Telling you it should be me
But you're not listening
You're too busy having fun
I can't get away from what I'm seeing
No matter how much I try to run
I'm seeing you with girlfriends
I've never even heard of
Telling them they're beautiful
As I start to sob
Then I wake up in the dark
And I'm lying here alone
With no one here to comfort me
Just me on my own
You may think the worst part is over
But it's only just begun
'Cause when I go back to sleep
I know I'll have another one
Nightmares that leave me crying
When I wake up in bed
Wishing every night
That they would stay out my head
But I kno
The Letter My Parents Will Never ReadThe words just slip through my teeth, now,
They dance out of my throat and coat my tongue,
"I don't like that anymore"
"I'm still the same person"
"I'm not mad at you"
I've gotten so good at lying, now,
I sometimes can't tell when even I'm telling the truth.
"Sure, everything's good"
"See? I'm smiling"
"I haven't had my first kiss"
You know what?
I'm not fine.
I have to hide my heart from my own parents because they don't understand.
I have to pretend that I'm mad at him and have "repented from my ways".
But in reality, I wait to read his words online,
I see his pictures,
I've kept the notes we wrote to each other in secret,
I'm in pain.
I'm hurt and full of longing to see him again,
Because you wouldn't let me be with him for the most idiotic reason,
Part of me hates you,
Part of me loves you,
Part of me is angry and spitting fire,
Part of me is hurt and bleeding.
And the more that you both pretend that ever
Life is but a DreamWe are just unnourished frail bodies,
overfed with white lies and short-lived-euphorias.
Books filled with black letters,
etching lurid images into our utmost dreams.
Veering us from the big picture...
the one we fail to paint ourselves.
Our fists much too busy with fights,
that we are bound to lose.
Too occupied in line waiting,
for creativity to be let loose like a stray dog.
As if we will find home in this pursuit of happiness...
but we only enclose each other in small rooms
with nothing but old laptops.
How many times I've guessed which letter could it be...
Which letter could it be?
To free us from havoc-stricken-thoughts?
They come and go, unending like 24 hour subway stations.
There's no break for this lonely man,
heaving every breathe of stale air
into my overused lungs...
Living in confined walls of flesh
held up with brittle paper-mache bones.
Which day is it that I will burst out from this cage of a life?
And hover with the Gods found in carefully binded bo
MercyOh sweet God how the grassland
ignites in moonlight tonight
I must thank you for creating
her tangled fingers' slow pace
through the handsome rain Her
trochaic kinesthesia to rhythms
in Stravinsky's The Rite of
Spring Is this how you meant
for us to love you Yahweh
Tumbling clumsily down hills
of sheets into perpetually
immutable silence I could love
you like that I think I've been
practicing on this Savanna
for days and months Lost in
her crystal canvas Rolling crests
and troughs And when she touches
me Oh fair Lord I'm dragged into
your city past Gethsemane's
pulsing green and gold
Please hold us together
under this luminous stretch
Oh Father We are live
unclothed Our reflections awash
with the skin of your sun
Keep in Touch!
A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More