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A Therian Curse or BlessingWhen I'm near you,
And close my eyes,
I can feel my claws,
My phantom tail weighing on my spine,
The twitching ears perked,
The flattened ridge above a small nose,
I can imagine everything,
And it feels so weird and amazing and startling and perfect in the same second.
She may have called me a freak, but what I am is more than that.
I am not human, she cannot call me that much for my spirit.
I am feline trapped in a human masquerade,
My slitted irises burning under frosted glass,
And as I close my eyes,
And let you trace my jaw line,
Let you pull back my hair and chuckle,
I'm stuck between two worlds…
One is telling me it is better to shrug off this human skin and be my true self.
The other is telling me that I was meant to be yours in this way,
that I am stuck between two worlds to befriend you…to be here for you and you for me….
For if I was truly feline, I would not be able to speak to you.
I would not be able to laugh at your jokes,
Or play with you the way
Burnt PopcornI cremated a bag of popcorn in my microwave...
and it's honestly not that bad...
but each individual piece tastes like a memory forgotten,
smokey and warm, like campfires in autumn...
if I close my eyes while the soft skin of the piece melts on my tongue,
I can imagine the crinkle of fire and the sparks of fallen ashes...
the miraculous image of twirling smoke against Orion's Belt...
And the harsh, reawakening sounds of pulling the individual black pieces of wood back into the center, raking the powdery ashes into a circle, and realigning every smokey brick...
And even though we never shared a campfire before, I really would like to...
to be able feel it burn my lips when we sit too close, and to have your arm around my waist as you lean into my hair....To hear you sigh as the night lingers on, in the beauty of firey autumn winds....
All this, from a cremated bag of popcorn smoking up my kitchen...
This Is MeI am not sure of much anymore,
As I sit here under a softened light,
And muffled tunes of music drift into the air like smoke,
I simply sigh and ponder over everything….
What is it when you cannot be free…
When you are trapped forever, eternity…
Tied up and caged in,
Masquerading in a human skin…
If I swim long enough,
Within the depths of feline thoughts,
A bitter hatred and anger,
Boil resentment for those against my kind…
Are we not all living our own stories to tell,
Can we not all be free?
It is only nature for there to be control….
For someone to stand up and crown their own brow…
I suppose to say we are all equal would anger so many…
Are we not all living our own stories to tell,
Please....Remind Me...Falling through their split-laced curtain,
Their venom-gilded web,
I extend my hand towards their bitter cackling,
Trying to hold on to my existence .
They are my blood,
They are my family,
But every glance is two-faceted,
And every remark is double its original worth.
They will never accept me,
They will never understand,
And the metallic sharpness,
Creates acid from their lips,
And the stinging denial,
Gives birth to underlying hatred.
I dance between both worlds known to me,
But I'd prefer to be in only one.
I lie through my teeth daily,
I put on a show and pretend,
And I constantly remind myself I am stronger,
I will survive their sickening trials .
If I know that I am stronger,
That I can do this until I am free,
Then why do I find myself holding myself together at night,
Crying in the corner of a chilled shower tile,
Wondering why I never feel like I have a future,
Where they will accept me for what I am doing and have been doing
Hurtful RecognitionsWhat torturous hearts we have...
where we fall in "like" .....
with those who are already in "love".........
What tempting memories pass under my eyes...
knowing the truth of reality...
but refusing to recognize it....
What a troublesome world we live in....
when you give and give and never receive what your heart....
Your Feline Shadow...Go ahead and tell me,
Your darkest deepest fear,
Whisper it, type it slow,
And never let them hear
Because you know how much I care,
You know what I really mean,
And because I care so deeply,
You're secret's safe with me.
Go ahead and tell me,
Who you really love,
Whisper it, and type it slow,
And never let them know
Because you know that I still care,
So I'll never tell you no,
I'll support your whims on hand,
And never to let go.
So go ahead and tie the string,
Draw the face of my true soul,
Tickle, laugh, and trick me, boy,
But you have to know,
That these games make it difficult,
They make it oh so hard
I care for you,
And yet you're not sure..... who you care for
And I can't let go
I'll be here,
Waiting, smiling, laughing, and playing as always seen.
I'll be here,
Hoping, trusting, caring, and saying what I mean
And you'll be there,
Swaying to and fro,
Never knowing who to love
I'm your feline shadow, boy,
Did He Just Say....The words drifted in the air,
Like silver sugar lacing my smile,
I feel the skin around my eyes and neck warm and tint with red,
I cast down my eyes and smile,
There they are,
His fingers in my hair again,
Tapping and playing,
But all I can hear are those words
Dancing through my head like perfect hallucinations,
But he said them .he did
."We could be" ..
Drifting MemoriesPulling covers over chilled shoulders,
Closing my eyes to the setting sun,
I feel my lips pinch in a small smile,
As I remember everything about you that makes my days special.
Every moment spent, every text sent,
I smile, knowing that you are mine,
And I sleep into dreams of holding your hand,
And kisses in courtyards,
Darkened rooms and bleachers,
Special memories take my hand,
And guide my heart to the reasons why I need you.
As long as I can dance the dance of both worlds,
Tread that fine line and remember my lies,
You'll be mine, and I'll be yours.
A Wild AnimalSlowly the angel stood,
Watching his wild lover shake,
Her mind tormented by two separate souls,
One wild, one tame,
Both to fight for their own name.
Chained to bedpost,
Clawed hands bound behind,
Her hair fell across her weary face,
Her eyes burning with fire found in cats alone.
Crouching near her panting form,
He brushed her hair from her face,
A small smile twists his lip,
And his eyes trace her shivering skin.
"What do you want from me?!" She whispers hatefully,
"What are you going to do? Destroy me like the others of my blood?
"I never knew you hunted my kind!" She spat at his feet,
Her teeth glaring in the bedroom light.
The angel reached for her jaw,
Gently cupping her face,
He looked into her eyes.
"I wish to tame you.
"And to love you.
"I wish for you to see the pain you are causing yourself,
"And I wish for you to listen."
Startled and scared,
Wary and untrusting,
Her heart pounded in her veins,
The thrum of their heartbeats combined in her ears.
For one mom
SecretsWe have a secret, we three
The owl, I , The sycamore tree
and nobody knows but us three
The sycamore knows it best
The sycamore is the - I will not tell the rest--
nature bloomedim afraid I shall tell---
And so life began
If the Owl and the sycamore tree will not tell
I'll try my best the secret to keep;
But you know owls ..always sharing their knowledge
Then everybody will know the secret we keep
Roses are RedYou are a rose that grows in the garden
A beauty shown for all to see
But it means your thorns must harden
If you want to protect yourself from me
Such a lovely flower looks so frail
Sheltered by a picket fence
Beware it does not become your jail
A prison for your own defense
The garden rose grows much too quickly
Then petals fall before autumn's leaves
But the wild rose whose thorns are prickly
Knows she is safe from beauty's thieves
Bitter SweetSo ends a tragedy years in the making
So many smiles I wasted time faking
Everything now is a bitter sweet end
So is this how we move on my friend
Gotta say I just don't know how you do it
How you amass all the strength to get through it
Aim to commit and alone here I sit and
I'm scared to death, that I'll gladly admit
One for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
Four to go
Five and I wonder
Dead or alive
Six and seven
I'm in heaven~
The Sentencing Of The PatientDoes it even matter if I make it up the ladder
Stumble down a staircase to a labyrinth of illusion
Never see the light of day as long as I may linger
Never know the feeling of a ring around my finger
Is this where the great ones end the story with a bang
Is this where the dying man gets on his knees to beg
Promising to change but never able to deliver
The performance of a life time is the lest he'll ever give
But surely there's hope
I'm sure he has faith
In the illusion
My sentence isn't final but I know for sure
That there will be
A party in my room when the lights go out
A big celebration when my time runs out
No matter where I am I'm always right here
And I promise you
That I will
This and all you've given
The doctors seem to know something I don't
Care to elaborate before my eyes run dry
I just can't take it
The suspense may kill me quicker than the illness ever could
Read me the diagnosis doc
Give me the news and make it rough
The last prognosis that I'
Expression DilemmaSo Many
Boiling emotions overbubbling
inside the cauldron of a skin tight
boned structure struggling to fly out of me
Words and notions I wish
to breeze free out of me and embrace
you in a warm hug like a cup of hot chocolate
on an ice day
Thoughts (what's a thought really?)
ideas - a plethora as many as ants crawling
beneath my skin itching to walk out from my mouth
And in that incredible moment in which the world
just stops for a moment to let me catch up with myself
so I can try to express myself to you
All I can say is
Out With a SighI'm broken.
And pour it out
Wrecking nerves cracking skin
Veins of pain spitting blood
Hurtful words implanted in me
Fingers scratching for rifts
Eyes that criticize weakness
Love meant to help yet kills
Leave me in peace
Out with a sigh
Pour it out
For All of the HeartsFor all the hearts who have been broken
That have had to buy rounds of duct tape to mend
Tears that have been wrought on souls that do not hear
That have had to wear masks of smiles and hearts to hide
And especially for those whose hearts still sing
Today its going to rain, rain like the stars have died
The heavens are going to cry with the passion of
Well, one of us; who've lived multiple lives
and have died every single day trying and struggling
But living and sighing through each painful drop of blood
Tomorrow, though, I'm going to smile; Through the grimace
And the dirt and the blood and the pain that stains black
Upon my cheeks from all the gashes they've cut from scythes
And tomorrow- smile; sing for every day and every soul
Whose ever loved you, who still love you, and for those who will
For all the hearts who have been broken
The duct tape will start the mending, but you have to too
The tears you must bottle away from souls who do not deserve your pain
Let the masks mold
River Song...and I sat there
fingering my life.
Then with a twist
of my pinky and thumb
I changed my mind...
Oh river, I wrote a word
I would drop her into your waters
if not for fear she would lose
her cladden black words
and perish in midst
of your emotionless daunts.
I beg you
let me close my eyes
lose my eyelashes to your torrents
and fall to sleep
in those blue arms
take me away, beyond the valley
of red rivers pooling sparks
to my dreams of a world
filled with tears rather than
My hands are out stretched
Hoping you will receive the words
wash me away, I've dug you a bed
from my heart and laid
my bones to be stones
and cut my fingers off
planting them like grass
in the white rocks.
If only I weren't a mummy
slow with tireless age
unable to answer the bird's first call
and only come till her belly
shriveled with hunger claims death
as her name
Hopelessness - take me away
Let me for once
be fast as a river gliding home bound.
The NeedHer fingers were on her brow
Her eyes were sharp arrows
Her smile mangled
Her throat choking upon itself
She held herself together
By the bare thread left
Willing her feet to stop shaking
Her eyes to dam the tears
Everything was swirling
Her skin cold under the umbrella
Fogging rain obscuring vision
Death-numbing weakness in her knees
You were so close to her
Just a finger touch a way
As the glass shattered beneath her
Yet, where were you?
On the day the Ring Spider
bit into her bones, poisoning
The day she vomited tears
As she mumbled meaninglessly
Wishing your warmth over the rain
For your touch would have substained
The Truthful RealmIf I were to look through a different world,
I could see you smiling softly,
Your hand stroking something orange-furred and sleeping.
On your left is a golden-eyed tabby,
Her tail striped with three dark rings,
Her whiskers long and patience thin,
But heart, greater than the sun.
Sitting there beside you,
Is what I feel to be
In this alternate world,
Where spirits run true,
That is where I am
I look up to you,
I feel for you,
I forgive your every sway,
And I feel envious of this other realm,
Every breaking day.
Because if I were to be what I am.
I'd be with you most afternoons,
You'd come home and I'd be there waiting,
Waiting just for you.
And around my neck would be a ribbon,
Golden with my name,
And you smile as you placed your palm upon my brow,
And chuckle when I purred.
I am often envious of this other realm,
Where spirits run as they are true,
Because what my therian side is telling me,
Is that I belong with you
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More