[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Lost In ConfusionLost In Confusion

My mind is spinning without a rest
Emotions whirl and twirl around
A merry-go-round gaining speed
Until the world blurrs before my eyes
What's happening? What's going on?

The simplest thought slips away
Right from my mind, fading so fast
Trying to focus, I stare and stare
Until my eyes are heavy and unclear.
I don't understand, what is going on..

Emotions rise and fall again
Within the blink of an eye
I'm crying, laughing, and depressed
A roller-coaster ride that never ends
Am I losing my mind in this?

I try to close my eyes and rest
But the world spins me around
I feel like I am failing this test
Voices and noises echo

Deactivatedthere are voids and black holes
and wounds,
papercuts sinking deep into
finger fissures
only to meet the unmarred love
of bones, strong and
bare and pure.

dark oceans are bleached
into tears that leave nothing
but sea salt in my lips

and my words are injustice
to the death of
your poetry.

this is me
drowning,
trying to be
you

trying to preserve the ardor
of your words
and the honey sweet taste
of your passion

it's also
how my lungs work
(when I don't read something from you
I die more than a little on the inside).

With This RingWith this ring,

I swear to keep myself pure.

To not give myself away until the night of my marriage,

To the one whom God has chosen for me.

With this ring,

I swear to avoid the temptations

That may lead me astray

And defile me.

With this ring

I swear to not only keep my body pure,

But to keep pure my mind.

To not think perverted thoughts,

To not corrupt myself from within.

With this ring,

I swear that all of what I am will be pure

For he who is to be my husband.

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It's What I'm Here ForLast night, I dreamt that a friend of mine was crying.
The tears of his confusion so beautiful against his cheek...
His eyes so hurt, so lost....
I needed to help him....to be there for him...
I spent the whole night dreaming that we sat somewhere as we were lost in the darkness of our feelings,
holding him together,
keeping him from falling apart....
I didn't want to do anything else,
he needed me...
There wasn't any talk of confused kisses,
Or quick jokes to cheer up his wonderful smile,
We just sat there together....
My pale hand across his face,
drying the tears of yet another lost heart....

That's what I'm here for I gu

What I FeelHave you ever burned an incense cone or wand,
And afterwords,
It's so light and only a fragile form of ash?
The slightest touch disintegrates it,
Sending it to fall down,
And becoming too much to clean…

I feel like that.

Have you ever broken a glass jar,
Just enough to see the shatter-lines,
But it still retains its shape?
The slightest touch will destroy it,
Causing it to release glimmering daggers,
Waiting to be stepped on for their revenge…

I feel like that.

Have you ever touched a frozen layer of water,
Tried to lift it from the bowl,
Tried to keep it from breaking it's original crystal form?
The slightest touc

Just Like The LastClosing my eyes,
The skinned cloth burns,
My lashes weighted with aged mascara…
My shoulders ache from burdened stress…
Stretching orange rays and lilac sighs….

Laying down my head,
Sunken into a thickened pillow,
Incense lazily traces my breath,
And I try to ease my gasps….

Holding myself together tonight.
Just like the last.

My heart is spread too thin,
Too much stress…
Too much pain…
Too much time…
Why does chaos follow my wake,
Why does everything have to be so complicated…

I go to sleep with wishes of kisses,
Dreams of lust and love,
Hopes of happiness and freedom,
And sympathy

How Bad I've Got ItI never know how bad I've got it,
How much I'm diseased…
Until I can't stand to look at my own face in the mirror.

I never know how bad I've got it,
How much I'm lost….
Until I prefer the shadows and hope that I'm invisible.

I never know,
Until I write.

I never know,
Until I go to sleep….and can't stop thinking…about…

How bad I've got it.

Don't patch me up, don't hold my hand…

Because you're content…you're happy…you're…

And no matter what I try,
I'm always deceived by my thoughts…

Always thinking I mean something, when really I meant something else….

And no matter what I t

Lost in the StaticShadowed figure and prickled brick,
Sheening metal and shocking screams,
Chipping paint and whispered pain,
Thundering feet,
Barbed lightning choking me…
Distractions, distractions….

Clawed hands gripping denim,
An urge to wander…to just…walk….away…
Why…..why…

Shaking my head….tangled hair….
Shadowed figure….I'm the shadowed figure…
You'll never notice me…

Disintegrating in the static…
Falling apart with no aide….
A heartless smile…
A painted star…
A lost dream…

Shadowed figure….that's me…
You'll never know,
Because I'll jus

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Submitted: September 19, 2012
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You, Just You

by ~topazcat511, Sep 19, 2012, 6:47:24 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

You…..you make me think of,
Soothing lavender-colored cloth,
Twinkling indigo, midnight skies,
The first taste of autumn in a warmed coffee cup,
Hazel scented steam twisting everywhere…
Fiery eyes of gold and dreams of silver hair,
A glinting smile, a smirk….

The softest touch,
And inked vines coiled across softer skin,
Sleeping lilies and koi fish across bronze tinted plates,
And the comforting hand, the reassuring gesture,
For fear of metallic insanity….

Peeking from behind silver scales,
Towering above like sharpened swords,
Smiling to myself,
I watch your careful eye,
The weight of your shoulder against mine,
That determined smirk, again,
And a new look of awe.

Have I brought that smile to your lips, my friend?
Am I the one that brought that beautiful treasure forth?
I follow, step around, and raise my eyes,
Looking away, I feel your steady hand on my back, once more….
Something tugs at my spirit,
And a shiver on my porcelain skin,
Please tell me I'm the one that made you smile, just this once…

Please, just don't ever let go,
Please, just don't let go,
Please, just don't go.
Please, don't go.
Don't go,
Don't.

You, Just Youby ~topazcat511

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

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love 2 2

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~Kailani-e Sep 25, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Awh! Beautiful!

~topazcat511 Sep 26, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thanks ^_^

~Kailani-e Sep 26, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

^^ You're welcome

~Starkpretty Sep 21, 2012

This is very beautiful, and completely non-cliche in so many glorious ways. Your imagery is really good, you write with a certain honesty and candour that makes this poem deep and satisfying to read. <3

~topazcat511 Sep 21, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thank you, that means so much, you just don't know ^_^
and about the honesty part, its true, every single thing I write is based from how I'm feeling....or how I feel about someone in this case...but again, thank you

~Starkpretty Sep 22, 2012

Don't worry, I know how lovely it feels when someone gives you a heartfelt reaction to your work

It was beautiful. I did like your line about metallic insanity, it tastes nice when you say it out loud!
It's lovely to know you feel that way about someone

~topazcat511 Sep 22, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thank you so much ^_^

~Starkpretty Sep 23, 2012

no worries, giving credit where it's due

~DemonKubbi Sep 20, 2012 Student General Artist

awwwwwww omg i love it id never leave you

~topazcat511 Sep 20, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I'm glad, it was really difficult for me to write

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You, Just You

You, Just Youby ~topazcat511

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