[x]

Haunted Fields of IndigoWhy do I find myself wandering these haunted fields,
Following a shadow of a spirit...

Pulled by the barbed wire wrapped around my throat,
and the poison threatening my blood....

Desperate glances behind, remind me,
that I can't help the way I feel...

But why do I find my self confessing my heart's true song,
To a moon that will never hear...

Here I am, my knees bloodied and torn in the dried, tarnished straw,
I can only imagine the luscious taste of sweet moon's light...

But here I am, bound by my love, bound for all eternity,
my love for those who cannot return it to me...

I will never find my way,
out of these haunted fields

Here, In My HandsH e r e
In my hands…
Barely holding on to my flushed fingertips,
Is a dream.

Just an ordinary day dream,
One held precious and known only to me…
But within this fantasy, is a hidden promise…
A promise and a question,

H e r e
I cup my hands and let the starlight ruffle it's feathers,
Like a bird of thread, with eyes of gold…
Do you understand how fragile it is?
If you unravel it enough, you will find what's left of my heart,
Since I broke it in two for you.

H e r e
Underneath this twilight canvas,
I hold my hands up to you and watch your eyes change,
Don't you understand…

Did He Just Say....The words drifted in the air,
Like silver sugar lacing my smile,
I feel the skin around my eyes and neck warm and tint with red,
I cast down my eyes and smile,
There they are,
His fingers in my hair again,
Tapping and playing,
But all I can hear are those words…
Dancing through my head like perfect hallucinations,
But he said them….he did…

……."We could be"…..

The Sun's Lover/ I Kissed The SkyI kissed the sky today,
And whispered my soft plea,
The Sun reached down and tucked a stray curl behind my ear,
And winked at me as it rose between the leaves.

I kissed the dawn today,
And begged an answer,
But the Sun was too tired and only yawned the sunrise,
Leaving me clouds dusted with warm hues and laughter.

I kissed the dusk today,
And questioned my true desire,
But the Sun was too busy and advised the sunset-wind as a suitor,
But it left a smokey taste on my lips, and no warmth in my heart.

I kissed the sky today,
And sighed as I'm left alone,
Sitting here under his shining smile, his wondrous care,
I wonder if the Sun

I, I am ForbiddenOh Lord , how I'm afraid.
I'm afraid that my secret will become known.
Those of my own blood chain me down and say I'm free,
They mock me before kissing me goodnight.
And for this reason, I have hidden how I think,
How I am,
From them all.
These words are typed in secrecy,
These thoughts forbidden to exist,
This heart forbidden to thrum with the blood of an open mind.
I am forbidden.

Oh Lord, how I'm afraid.
I'm afraid that I will never be free.
Because the only way I can truly be free is to break secrecy,
And that is too dangerous a border to cross...
And much too painful…
No daughter should hide her heart because of her

I Am Your Clockwork DollLay me out on the table and open my eyes,
Peel back the skin and reveal my porcelain heart,

Like a clockwork doll, made in secret from the mountains,

A lock is encased in its center,
And the key was lost long ago…
Given to a man of a name I've never known…

You play music of the sweetest notes,
Stories of love and devoted trust…
Love I don't deserve…
Love I can only give away…

What a truthful night it has been for this doll,
Every heart spoke its truth,
And she nearly cried from her shock…
So much love and care,
From those she's never met…never known…

Her crystal blood flows freely now,
W

A Wild AnimalSlowly the angel stood,
Watching his wild lover shake,
Her mind tormented by two separate souls,
One wild, one tame,
Both to fight for their own name.

Chained to bedpost,
Clawed hands bound behind,
Her hair fell across her weary face,
Her eyes burning with fire found in cats alone.

Crouching near her panting form,
He brushed her hair from her face,
A small smile twists his lip,
And his eyes trace her shivering skin.

"What do you want from me?!" She whispers hatefully,
"What are you going to do? Destroy me like the others of my blood?
"I never knew you hunted my kind!" She spat at his feet,
Her teeth glaring in the bedroom li

Drifting MemoriesPulling covers over chilled shoulders,
Closing my eyes to the setting sun,
I feel my lips pinch in a small smile,
As I remember everything about you that makes my days special.
Every moment spent, every text sent,
I smile, knowing that you are mine,
And I sleep into dreams of holding your hand,
And kisses in courtyards,
Darkened rooms and bleachers,
Special memories take my hand,
And guide my heart to the reasons why I need you.
As long as I can dance the dance of both worlds,
Tread that fine line and remember my lies,
You'll be mine, and I'll be yours.

Your Own SunflowerLike a sunflower caught in awe of the sun,
Turning blonde petals whichever way he dances,
Draping her body in the wind of ages,
And decorating her skin with the dew of secret dawns…
Waiting and hoping one day he'll see,
How much is gathered in the whispered songs of weeds,
How much she trusts that the firm ground she has grown from,
Will stab her heart the moment truth is found…
How far she stretches and yearns to touch his golden heart,
Waiting and hoping one day he'll see,
What love from a sunflower means.

Burnt PopcornI cremated a bag of popcorn in my microwave...
and it's honestly not that bad...

but each individual piece tastes like a memory forgotten,
smokey and warm, like campfires in autumn...

if I close my eyes while the soft skin of the piece melts on my tongue,
I can imagine the crinkle of fire and the sparks of fallen ashes...
the miraculous image of twirling smoke against Orion's Belt...

And the harsh, reawakening sounds of pulling the individual black pieces of wood back into the center, raking the powdery ashes into a circle, and realigning every smokey brick...

And even though we never shared a campfire before, I really would like to..

FrustrationI just want to bang my head against the wall,
and let the scars rebleed,
I'm trying to heal myself,
but never succeed.

Every word is hidden behind the secret sets of stone,
What I really mean is mine,
and mine to know, alone.

I can never be happy,
I can never be free,
I can never love someone meant just for me,
I can never exist without loving someone,
Who can never love me in return....

I just want to break every glass, every mirror, memories passed,
And every picture,
I just want to scream so loud,
that you'll be astounded,
and you'll never know,
that I can never be happy,
I can never be free,
I can never love someone th

To Kiss A GhostSlowly the drug pulls down my veins,
Pulling my hand in purpled waters,
Dragging me down into a misty realm,
Of lavender smoke…

Landing in a chilled crystal lake,
The ripples lapping against my legs,
I lift my eyes and see someone…
A shadow of... someone…

He reaches out a hand to me and touches my neck,
With the other, pulls me closer…
It was like kissing a ghost,
He was there, and then... he wasn't…

I never met his true self,
But I knew him then, and only then…

My hair ruffled through his fingers,
Rough and red,
His skin was cool and fading,
Blissful blue…

I never knew what it was&#

My Morning BattleI look in the mirror,
Apply that last bit of eye make-up…
Twist the brush,
Swoop the glittery powder…
Standing back and smiling,
My reflection retorts….distorts…

I hear a hiss in my ear,
"Look at you, you love every person who talks to you... so pathetic…so naiive…so trusting…..such a fool."

I close my eyes tightly, I grip the edge of the counter, my knuckles white.
"Look at you, you don't know when to stop do you?.....so eager…so loving…so innocent…such a fool."

I bite my lip and refuse to look at h

Please....Remind Me...Falling through their split-laced curtain,
Their venom-gilded web,
I extend my hand towards their bitter cackling,
Trying to hold on to my existence….
My mentality…

They are my blood,
They are my family,
But every glance is two-faceted,
And every remark is double its original worth.

They will never accept me,
They will never understand,
And the metallic sharpness,
Creates acid from their lips,
And the stinging denial,
Gives birth to underlying hatred.

I dance between both worlds known to me,
But I'd prefer to be in only one.
I lie through my teeth daily,
I put on a show and pretend,
And I constantly rem

My Label/ Hi, My Name Is...Sometimes I think I need to wear a label,
A sticker,
A collar,
A tag…

That will tell you what is wrong with me…

"Hi, My Name Is:
Easily loving, falls to quickly, doesn't know when to stop, tries her best but can't succeed, and only wants to hold someone's hand… to feel that hand on her shoulder when she cries…"

The ink would be smudged across as if written in haste, a couple letters bolded in spots as if trying to fix a mistake…So many mistakes…

The edges would be peeling as if to forget I ever existed all together…
Sometimes, I think I need to wear a warning…

So you will know ahead of time th

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Musical ConfessionRemember how we used to share songs?
How at first it was innocent and then things grew?
It was like we were flirting with music,
And then whispering our feelings through the lyrics…
There's this one song…
That I've wanted to give you for so long…
But I'm afraid…
Because I don't want to trap you.
I don't want to cage you with my heart,

Even though I want to be with you…
I don't want to make you feel like you have no choice….

Also, I'm afraid…

Because what if the lyrics themselves are too much…
And you look at me in a different light…

I was going to give it to you before you left…

The Insomniatic InspiriationThe soft murmur of muted music,
Comforting the insomniac hidden in these shadows,
A gentle rustling of dusty pages,
Their once favored perfume aged into the scent of tears and regret.
The glowing light of a warmed lamp near,
Like a miniature star possessed by a flower's petals,

Warm hues coat the ceiling and walls,
Casting even more dancing shadows on the floor.
The soft scratch of graphite against ivory sheets,
A whiff of rubber,
A scent of shavings,
The excitement that comes from nocturnal inspiration,
Powering every shaky breath.

And despite the glaring clock,
Declaring the presence of too early morn,
The Insomniac must comp

Only Half LupineThe silenced moon blinks from above,
Watching me howl under my fur,
My tail dragging in the dirt,
Covering itself with dust and debris.

They'll never know what it's like,
To feel the cold stare of blood,
To know you are not one,
But only half lupine…

A stretched whine escapes my teeth,
And the heads of those who claim love, turn,
I cannot possibly be fully accepted as one of them,
All for something out of my control….

Outside the pack, I watch and linger,
They accept me, but they do not,
And I am silently separated…
I would protect them!
I would love them!
I would fight for them, lead them!

But it is not my

Uncertainty and DoubtDoes anyone else stand at the edge of the stair and look down,
wondering what it would feel like to never know how far the next step is?
As if you could walk blindly, and fall, sink, down into an un-foretold reality,
Lose yourself in chaos, the bitter chilled unknown…

I stand here now on the edge of porcelain stairs,
Peeking downward through my ebony lashes,
I feel a grip in my spirit,
A sickening wave of dizziness rolls over me,
Knocking me back, nudging doubt deeper into my skin like a poisonous shard.
"Do I step forward? Or do I wait in this haunting pain…"

Biting my lip, wringing my hands, my blood dancing loudly,

The Nocturnal DriveThe smooth dark silk splits,
Highlighted by stars on silver straws,
Casting a haunting glow down upon the worn gravel,
As insatiable shadows grovel past.
The sky above is painted with ornamented denim,
The moon, an ivory button,
Polished but forgotten on its dusty shelf.
The music of ages passes through the muggy air,
The muffled thrum of cycling onyx rings,
And the feeling of emptiness,
Gliding like a nocturnal demoness,
My eyes, cold and translucent, stare ahead and watch the world blur.
I could spend an eternity in this softened throne,
Enjoying the simplicity of the sweet darkness,
Of a long drive at night.

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Submitted: September 24, 2012
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Your Feline Shadow...

by ~topazcat511, Sep 24, 2012, 1:55:08 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Go ahead and tell me,
Your darkest deepest fear,
Whisper it, type it slow,
And never let them hear…
Because you know how much I care,
You know what I really mean,
And because I care so deeply,
You're secret's safe with me.

Go ahead and tell me,
Who you really love,
Whisper it, and type it slow,
And never let them know…
Because you know that I still care,
So I'll never tell you no,
I'll support your whims on hand,
And never to let go.

So go ahead and tie the string,
Draw the face of my true soul,
Tickle, laugh, and trick me, boy,
But you have to know,
That these games make it difficult,
They make it oh so hard…
I care for you,
And yet you're not sure..... who you care for…
And I can't let go…

I'll be here,
Waiting, smiling, laughing, and playing as always seen.
I'll be here,
Hoping, trusting, caring, and saying what I mean…

And you'll be there,
Swaying to and fro,
Never knowing who to love…
I'm your feline shadow, boy,
Remember, I can't let go…..

Your Feline Shadow...by ~topazcat511

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

...

love 1 1

joy 2 2

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

*Siren-Badru Sep 28, 2012 Student General Artist

This here is a piece of the soul, I've been here, on this side; but he didn't sway so much as he was beckoned away by himself and his fear of closeness to anyone. It was his love on loneliness that he swayed in.

~topazcat511 Sep 28, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I hear yah :/ I'm glad someone understands this feeling.

*Siren-Badru Sep 28, 2012 Student General Artist

=^0^=

~topazcat511 Sep 28, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

hehe ^_^

~Kalika-Shai Sep 26, 2012 Student General Artist

Aw. I have been there before...it's the worst.
But you captured it very well. Good job.

~topazcat511 Sep 26, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thank you ^_^ I'm glad you liked it

~Bubblestorm12 Sep 25, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

That was beautiful.

~topazcat511 Sep 26, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thanks ^_^

~Sonaze100 Sep 25, 2012

Oh jeez this made me shiver o.o awesome!

~topazcat511 Sep 26, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

hehe, I'm glad you liked it ^_^

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Your Feline Shadow...

Your Feline Shadow...by ~topazcat511

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