topazcat511

therian - mountain lion

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The Final Submission- Please Read by topazcat511, literature

Literature

The Final Submission- Please Read

Okay, serious talk time. Because I haven’t been on this account in a while and I need to get some things off my chest. The majority of you followed me on this account because of my writing. In all honesty, the writings you fell in love with were fueled with negativity and distaste for my family, myself, and life in general. I was uber depressed and confused about everything and it was a hard time for me. Going through things now, looking back at some of the crazy stuff I’ve written, I realize that I’ve come a lot farther than where I was. I mean, hell, I’m still confused about somethings. And I still don’t ge

Silence is Sewn by topazcat511, literature

Literature

Silence is Sewn

Those words drift beneath my eyelids, Plastered like dotted smoke on the ceiling, The shadows of flames dancing across them, Painting them in different tones. As I turn away from the dancing figures, I face the worn cloth of this tattered couch, The faint smell of memories comes from its surface, Poking and prodding the words you wrapped for me. I can feel it again, bubbling up inside, It itches like bitter coffee in my throat, And no matter how hard I grit my teeth and shut my eyes, I fall asleep knowing the dark nothing within me. No amount of venting or imagery could properly describe, This aching hate that coats my skin. You should se

Uncertainty of Souls by topazcat511, literature

Literature

Uncertainty of Souls

I’m not sure what echoes within these dark halls at night, But it sounds like the laughter of someone I used to be. My reflection is that of someone haunted, Of someone released only to be hunted. Can you only imagine what kind of monster that makes me? I’m not sure what sings to me from behind these curtained sills, But it sounds liked the spirit of someone I used to be. My body is that of someone forgotten, Of someone forced to live, and turned to be rotten. Can you only imagine what kind of monster that makes me? I’m not sure what chants to me underneath this peppered skin, But it sounds like the creature I have yet to

Unimportant by topazcat511, literature

Literature

Unimportant

Dipping my hands into the basin of my heart, My nails scrap the bottom, Attempting to grasp at any remains… “Sure…I can wait. Sure…I’ll be fine. Go now, just go…” Is all that comes to mind. I know that I am hopeless, I’ve been hurt so many times, I am just the being to cry within your shadow. I don’t know what to do anymore… I don’t know who I am or what I am, I feel empty and like a ghost… I feel as if I am only alive around those that know me, And even then, something isn’t right… What isn’t right? Was I too hopeful? Was I to caring? Ma

Self-Haunting by topazcat511, literature

Life Support by topazcat511, literature

Literature

Life Support

There’s an overwhelming feeling, And a ghastly fear of tears, That rips apart my failing heart, While I pray that no soul hears, The aching cry and mournful sigh, Of turning the next page, I can’t seem to unchain this aching pain… That all I once loved is lost… You’ll be gone, You’ll leave me, And you, well you’ve forgotten everything. And you, you’ll go on and do great things, Or I will, we really don’t know… And you, you don’t really care, And you, you seem to be rather fake, And well….now that I think about it… What is it that I’m mourning for exactl

Lost and yet to be Found by topazcat511, literature

Literature

Lost and yet to be Found

With the absence of assignment, And tutoring lost, I’ve started a journey, In search of my spirit. If you recognize it, That twinkle in the left eye, And that pinch in the corner of a smile, If you see it, or notice it, I need to know. See, I know of my spirit, But I do not know what its rhythm is. Its pulse, its life, its song, I have to discover it on my own. With no ideas or lessons, A whole year to come of self-exploration, I have time to find my style, my spirit. Because I feel rather lost… I am suddenly without a guide… I have the capability, The creativity, But no one to tell me what to do with it… I h

The Sense of Becoming by topazcat511, literature

Literature

The Sense of Becoming

As I sit here, slanted, on a worn down cushion, Wrapped and surrounded by pale amber glow, The dark onyx windows reveal an emerald bar of grass, And the simple burning reflection of the bitter chandelier. As I sit here, I wonder, what this stirring in my blood may be, It lingers on my breath, and shivers across my skin, It burns in my eyes, and I can feel the steady pounding of my heart, Surely and soulfully pounding on, to a rhythm I’ve yet to memorize. As I sit here, I feel this sense of …becoming. I know within the very veins of every finger, I am a yearning, heart breaking surge of raw energy and talent, Ever eager to make

The Rag-Doll's Hum by topazcat511, literature

Literature

The Rag-Doll's Hum

I…I may not be the best one, But I know I’m just as strong, Things these days do blind us, And let us forget our song, The song that binds us to the blood, And reminds us that we all love, One must bravely ride into war, And show that spirit is enough. Enough to love and to hold, To see through skin, and see through bone, To look past what culture builds us up, And not see the soul... as a clone. A clone of stereotypical sets, The kind that leave bitter traces on your tongue, What I fear is that Someone has chosen me, To ride into war and be surely hung. Hung high from the smoke-stained rows, Leaving a single haunting song up

Tell Me That Things Change... by topazcat511, literature

Literature

Tell Me That Things Change...

Things change don’t they… Pulled out from under me, Taking my breath and flying off into the smoke, Leaving me here with my chin in the gravel, And my hand stretching towards your shadow… Things change don’t they… Never really thought my heart would be this mangled, That I’d be left behind and strangled by the very ones who claimed my love… I never thought I’d be marching solely on a path, Pausing every turn, just to hear if anyone still calls my name… Things change don’t they… I am trying to step out, to walk on, to go forward, to grow and change… They’re

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The Final Submission- Please Read by topazcat511, literature

Literature

The Final Submission- Please Read

Silence is Sewn by topazcat511, literature

Literature

Silence is Sewn

Uncertainty of Souls by topazcat511, literature

Literature

Uncertainty of Souls

Unimportant by topazcat511, literature

Literature

Unimportant

Self-Haunting by topazcat511, literature

Life Support by topazcat511, literature

Literature

Life Support

Lost and yet to be Found by topazcat511, literature

Literature

Lost and yet to be Found

The Sense of Becoming by topazcat511, literature

Literature

The Sense of Becoming

The Rag-Doll's Hum by topazcat511, literature

Literature

The Rag-Doll's Hum

Tell Me That Things Change... by topazcat511, literature

Literature

Tell Me That Things Change...

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About topazcat511

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Artist // Hobbyist // Literature

Deviant for 11 years

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topazcat511

May 15, 2014

The Final Submission- Yep, It's a Journal Too

0 min read

Okay, serious talk time. Because I haven’t been on this account in a while and I need to get some things off my chest. The majority of you followed me on this account because of my writing. In all honesty, the writings you fell in love with were fueled with negativity and distaste for my family, myself, and life in general.  I was uber depressed and confused about everything and it was a hard time for me. Going through things now, looking back at some of the crazy stuff I’ve written, I realize that I’ve come a lot farther than where I was. I mean, hell, I’m still confused about somethings.  And I still don’t ge

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topazcat511

May 15, 2014

The Final Submission- Please Read

0 min read

Okay, serious talk time. Because I haven’t been on this account in a while and I need to get some things off my chest. The majority of you followed me on this account because of my writing. In all honesty, the writings you fell in love with were fueled with negativity and distaste for my family, myself, and life in general.  I was uber depressed and confused about everything and it was a hard time for me. Going through things now, looking back at some of the crazy stuff I’ve written, I realize that I’ve come a lot farther than where I was. I mean, hell, I’m still confused about somethings.  And I still don’t ge

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topazcat511

Dec 23, 2013

I'm not back...

0 min read

Don't get excited or anything, but I'm not deleting this account after all...True, I know some people still have access to it, and I know that this is where all my "emotional" stuff is written, but I'm keeping it. I need something to vent through and my newer deviantart account...well I'd prefer to keep that in the state that it is now. Not so sure my viewers on there would appreciate the writings I place here. Anyway, yeah, so I'll pop in and write a thing or two everynow and then, but I'm not back. Too many memories with this account, if that makes anysense? It's just a name now...And it's just old memories tied to old poems and emotions I

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Profile Comments 434

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LivyBunny14

Aug 21, 2016

Hi :3 I like your writing, you said you were lonely but you can talk to me! I really feel that I'm therian although I haven't found my kin type yet but i've felt very shifty, I'll know sound enough ^u^